Me,Myself and I..

What's up with me

2007-04-28T22:42:00.000+08:00

>>Sometimes I can't help but be frustrated with the things going on around me. I don't know why but there are times that I'd just feel really pissed... But then again, there's always time to take a deep breath, relax and make a smile..

>>What's up with me these days? As usual.. I'm currently hooked up to japanese. I can't help the Jap Fever within me!! Ahahaha lols!! As you can see, my layout's containing the images of my beloved jrock star, Gackt. I was really fascinated by this guy.

>>I want to make another blog layout.^_^

>>Birthday's coming soon... I have no specific plans still... Waaaaaahhhh... I JUST WANNA HAVE FUN...

NEW LAYOUT!!

2007-04-24T17:50:00.000+08:00

Yay!! I just finished fixing blog! As you can see I made another new layout!! Again, I declare my love for my beloved Gackt-san!! Wahihihi!! Aaaahh.. Damare... Nyahehehe.. Anyways, some sections are are still not fixed and I'm currently working on it. I'll be posting more stuffs soon, I think. Ahehehe..

I guess that's all for now.^_^

GOD, WORLD, MAN (part 8)

2007-04-22T20:27:00.002+08:00

What about my body? Is my body really my body? For it to become mine there has to be intersubjectivity between me and my body, meaning, there is an intimate relationship between me and my body, which creates a link that now makes my body my body. It’s not really a kind of ownership thing, but something that links us makes the relationship more than just as an owner and possession. I have a body, meaning I possess a body. Saying that I “have” a body is like looking into this physical being, as an object. I don’t think it’s supposed to be like that. Yet sometimes we might also think that the body is an instrument, and as the owner I am able to control it. But once the body starts to decease, or starts to pass, the link then slowly dies because I’m starting to lose something that I once have. Meanwhile, to say that I am my body rejects the idea that the body is an object. There’s this certain union between me and my body that forms an intimate relationship and that through experience I am able to come up with an “I” that I can call me.

Does the gender really dictate the femininity or masculinity of a person? I don’t think so. We were born of a gender that we did not choose of course. Well, at the beginning I don’t think there was any choice at all. Now, like what I have said before, human beings- man- has both feminine and masculine side. The gender is just a factor that makes one feminine or masculine. But then, there are those who prefer to be of the opposite sex. That’s why we have lesbians and homosexuals in society. I don’t think it’s a kind of abnormality though. What is normal, anyway (I used to ask that question when I write a description about myself in blogs and profile: “I am just a normal kid living in this big world.. What’s normal anyway?”) If that makes them what they really are, then go ahead. I don’t look down on these people. They are human beings still. The physical body does not always dictate the real person that we are. I am a female, born with a female body. In my conscious mind it feeds me up the information that the female body makes me female. But then again there are times that I get into the masculine side. I do believe that human beings go into that kind of condition. Sometimes, we have to touch our feminine and masculine side to be able to understand better.

I am a human being. I believe I am what I am. How come I am what I am? It’s because I am created as what I am-a unique self, a distinct character which I know deep within, (-gumuho man ang mundo, balibaliktarin man ang mundo-) I know that it is me. I am composed of a body, mind and soul. I am not complete and cannot be considered as a human being without these three, as far as I believe. I don’t think that I can be called a human being with just a conscious mind, nor with just a body, and just as a soul. A body cannot move without the consciousness that helps move it, and the soul that forms the human nature.

Knowing that there is “I” that I consider me, I can say that I exist in this world. I just know that it is me that I exist. It’s really hard to express it in words because I don’t think words will be able to express my being well. And so, I exist. But I do not exist just for myself but for others as well. It’s what human beings are. Social… What’s the purpose of being in this world? I don’t really know. Maybe I was placed here to add to the problems of the world. (Haha. Just joking). Well, I AM a problem to my parents and my teachers, so I guess there’s a point to that. But it’s not really all that. So, being thrown out into this world, I seek meaning in life because I think it will be able to make me complete. Being born into this world without knowing the reason why and not knowing exactly where to go to, there’s just this urge, the feeling that I can’t help but to step my foot forward in order to find out. Well, maybe I was born for a certain greatness that I have to achieve, or maybe for a someone-that someone, like that of a soulmate, eh? I don’t know exactly for sure but it’s not bad to believe in something like that. If finding that someone will make my me whole, then why not live in this world and find that someone? If reincarnation is true, then maybe it’s worth living a thousand years just to find this person who can complete my very being.

GOD, WORLD, MAN (part 7)

2007-04-22T20:27:00.001+08:00

Despite of these, there’s no doubt that I myself have a lot of questions to ask about God about perfection. Can God really create a perfect world? With all the powers he have, I think yes. I just remembered, we were told that perfection is a state of being, and it can be achieved. I was just wondering if once man has achieved this perfection, does it makes man a God too? Will achieving the sate of perfection affect the idea of God being perfect? Or maybe it implies the belief that God is within each and every one of us? God is said to know everything, and He is an all-powerful God. In relation with the concept that Truth comes with power, does God dictates what the truth is? In the concept of thinking and knowing: What’s the difference between the two? For me, “thinking” is something with uncertainty (no assurance). It’s like the mind has to deliberate from the packets of information or data collected in the mind in order to accept a fact, in order to make a conclusion. “Knowing” on the other hand, has a kind of assurance in it. The mind has already accepted the fact, or has acknowledged the fact already, therefore, making an assurance of it. Now, my question is, does God think? Or he just knows? Or could it be both? For me, since He is perfect, there’s an assurance of what he does; He perfectly knows what He’s doing. But then, if He planned to create the world, isn’t thinking involved? Also, does God ever regretted once on the things He did? And if God thinks, does it imply that He has some uncertainty in Himself too? Oh brother… I don’t know if I’m still making any sense in here, but I still hope I do.

And now, here I go with the subject, “Man.” Oh great… I’m afraid I have nothing more to say in this one. (The mind is completely tortured already!! Damn!! It is but a shame not to be gifted with a philosophical mind…T-T)

The question, “Who am I” for me is one of the most thought-provoking questions being raised many times in a man’s entire life. Of course, at first, without the philosophical way of thinking, or at first when not everything seem to matter much, and that the mind still has a lot to eat, the question “who am I” is always answered by a name. Now, it seemed like it’s not really that way anymore. It would lead you to a conclusion that, “Am I just a name?” A name gives a certain identity to us. But it doesn’t speak to the actual wholeness of ourselves. When asked by people-strangers-it’s easy to make another identity by just changing the name. I remember once, two of my friends and I had a deal once. Before we graduated, we actually made this deal that we would use different names (or a new set of nicknames) once we start our college life. I actually ended up not doing what we have dealt with. Why? It gave me this uncomfortable feeling that using a different name, of which I am not really used to, makes me feel like I will not be able to figure out who I am, or I am putting a barrier to myself and to these new people that I will meet once I use another identity. So right now, they call me with my usual nickname, because it’s where I’m comfortable with. It’s like putting on a clothing that doesn’t fit on me; it’s either too loose, too tight, not match with my figure, not match with my skin tone, a bit long or a bit short, etc. Yet again, there are a lot of other people with the same name as mine. Once, in Sociology, we were asked also the same question, “Who am I?” It was hard to answer the question. If I say, I am Ms. Whoever, daughter of so-and-so, living in somewhere out there, studied in wherever, etc., it does not satisfy the question “Who am I.” If I say, I am kind, generous, lazy, stubborn, etc., still, it does not seem to fit as an answer to the question. There’s also this feeling of dissatisfaction once you say this things, because it really doesn’t complete the whole me, as a person.

What about my life? Well yeah, I believe it has something to do with who I am. After all, it’s my life. What is in the life that makes me myself, then? Maybe it is through experience that I am able to build myself as to who I am now. But then, how can I be sure that it was me all along? What about my mind? My mind is conscious of what I am doing now (Yeah, I hope it still is… I’m still making this darn term paper… I look like bullshit now.)Now, it is said that when there is consciousness, there is the “I” that exists. So here I am, so far I still have consciousness, still thinking (-and thinking still if my brain still has anything to say still… I say it’s ¾ empty already…). If we stop thinking, we don’t exist anymore. How do we know when we’re not thinking anymore? I don’t think we can ever know, because we’re probably gone by then. Where do we go once we stop thinking, once we stop being conscious? Again, is consciousness really mine? When I am thinking, am I the one controlling my mind? Is there something that goes beyond the consciousness of the mind? Connecting experience to consciousness, I think consciousness is awareness of something, and experience is something linked with the past, which we are now conscious of. If I am conscious right now, everything that I am doing is or will be registered in the mind. It becomes an experience afterwards (Crap! I don’t think I’m making any sense here…T-T). Is consciousness mine? I guess so. What made me the thinker? I possess a conscious mind. I am able to distinguish things… Is that it? Oh brother… This is driving me nuts! (Sorry but I can’t help it…). When I am conscious, I know that I am me, because the conscious mind knows the “I” that makes me.

GOD, WORLD, MAN (part 6)

2007-04-22T20:25:00.000+08:00

I am created by a perfect God, yet I am made imperfect by this perfect God, and made me dwell in His imperfect world. Does God see the imperfect? Does He not? If He is perfect, then I believe he can see me. He understands me. H knows who I am because He is my creator. He is an all-knowing God, therefore, He knows me. He knows you. Is God a male or a female? It seem like that society has implied the patriarchal concept of mostly a lot of everything in this world, because of the image of a man, a father, as holding a kind of power (or whatever it is related to power and governance). Maybe that’s why God has the image of the Father. But for me, I think it’s both. I think that God is androgynous. In order to understand all beings, He must have this female side and male side. I am not sure of this though (I haven’t seen God, anyway), but this is how I look onto it. Like us, created in the image and the likeness of God, as what many believe in so, we also have our female and male side, despite of the gender our physical body has.

(Commercial: A nice meal and a nice talk somehow took away some of the stress and headaches… A meal is soooo delicious when you get to eat and enjoy it with a loved one!^^, )

Like what I have said before, praying to God was like asking Santa before, only to realize sooner that everything I ask for is not always granted. Why can’t I? It’s because some things are not just meant to be given to you. I think that’s the way God does his business. It’s not that He doesn’t want you to give what you want, but because it’s not what you really needed. He provides us what we need, in order for us to live and understand more the life that we are facing.

I am created by a perfect God, yet made imperfect, and made me dwell in this imperfect world. Why did God create an imperfect world? In this imperfect world, how come there’s madness everywhere, and all those suffering? The firs time I came out of this world, there’s already suffering that exists. And being born in this imperfect world, I am now considered to be part of the suffering, part of the suffering world, of the society. How come he has allowed this kind of imperfection, this kind of pain and suffering? Considering the fact that there is existence before me, how he didn’t create me years earlier than the actual date I was born? What is the purpose of being sent into madness and being created as imperfect? Just like what Mr. Nid Anima said, God is supremely insane to create an imperfect world with all the suffering in it.

Well, I might as well agree. God is insane. But I also believe in what Pilosopo Tasyo said, “Ang pagitan ng kabaliwan at katinuan ay isang hibla lamang ng buhok...” Oh yesss… We all have the tendency to be insane. God is insane, alright. But I do believe insanity is also close to intelligence. An example of this is Pilosopo Tasyo, a character of Jose Rizal’s Noli Me Tangere. People call him crazy, but he’s wise enough, smart enough to understand what is going on. I think it goes the same with God. Maybe creating an imperfect, chaotic world is a crazy and insane idea, but I think it’s wise and intelligent enough for Him to do so. Why? What’s the use in creating a perfect world, with perfect beings on it? Heck! I say would be plain boring to live in this world anymore. Creating such madness in this world, I think He perfectly designed it to be imperfect for us to understand the meaning of perfection, the meaning of life. There could be perfect moments, but these moments do not last. No, not in this world. I don’t think so. Why create suffering and such chaos? With me, in this imperfect world, living for the past 17 years and more of this life, I have experienced a lot of suffering myself. And I know there’s a lot more of it as I continue to live on. But then again, these sufferings have taught me a lot in life. I believe God has his purposes why he created such. They might be crazy enough, but they’re effective enough to make us realize important things about living in this life. For me, suffering is more than the pain in the body, the burdens in the mind and in the heart. It is more of a teaching, which helps us understand what’s with, what’s in this life. For me, suffering contributes to the appreciation of having something than nothing. It should always come as a challenge, and not be feared. It is a test of strength of the heart and of the mind. Surpassing every challenge we tend to grow more mature, and understand more of the meaning of living in this imperfect world. It urges us to strive harder, for us to achieve what we want to achieve. No pain, no gain. I guess that explains it. Why do we still have to undergo suffering in order to gain something? That’s the way God designed it. We have to go under pain, so that in the end, once we have achieved what we want to achieve, we will give importance, or value to that achievement, and hold onto that achievement too. Yes, almost everyday, we face different kinds of battles in this disarrayed world. With this, we understand the meaning of peace. We have our own time when we experience tranquility, despite of what happens all around us. Being lonely at times, I understand the value of having friends and a family around me, and the value of love. When I see death (there’s been a lot of death around these days, don’t you think?), I understand the value of life. Again, like what I’ve said, it’s like it’s something that one cannot exist without the other. For example: darkness and light. This is what I have thought of: I recognized that there is darkness when I saw light. In the presence of light, I knew that the light is light because I was able to recognize it from the darkness. I hope I’m getting through here, or else I don’t know how to explain it anymore. Waaaaaaahhh!!!

GOD, WORLD, MAN (part 5)

2007-04-22T20:24:00.000+08:00

Speaking of being created, here we go again with the never-ending question of, “Who created me?” If I say, my parents created me, who created them, then? My parent’s parents.. How about them? My grandparents’ parents… The cycle goes back. Way, way, waaaaaaayyyy back to the very beginning. Born as a member of the Catholic Church, it is said that God created us. All in this world is created by God. I have lived all my life believing in a God, without bothering to ask, who is He? The bible says that the way he answers is, “I am who I am.” OH-kay…

To begin with, I don’t really know how I will discuss these things related to God. I am a believer of God. I believe in the idea of a God. It’s very hard to explain why I believe in such a thing. It would be hard for me to discuss it well, and again, my words might contradict to what a believer must contain at some point. But then again, for the sake of this project, may everything work out fine. (Commercial: It’s late in the evening, it’s already seven pages long yet the content is only 1/3 of the whole term paper. That just sucks, men. Meanwhile, sleepiness starts to devour me because of stress- AGAIN…)

Alright! First question: is there a God? Like what we have discussed, in order for something to prove that it really exists, it must be represented in two ways: an idea and the actual. I saw a pen on the desk. Does the pen exist? Yes. I am now thinking of the pen. Does it exist? Yes, in my mind. It can also be the opposite. Earlier in the morning, I was thinking of my cell phone. Does it exist? Yes, in my mind. Later, I saw my phone. Does it exist? Yes. In actuality, it exists. Applying this to the concept of God, it only exists as an idea. I gave an idea of a God. He exists on my mind. But have I seen God? Unfortunately, I haven’t. Now, is there a God? Yes. He’s in my mind. Like what St. Anselm said, the idea of God is the greatest of all possible ideas. I believe in that. I believe in God, who doesn’t seem to exist with a physical form, but I know that there IS a God. He is said to be the source of all being. He is the source of my being. He created me and brought me out into this world. Somehow, the concept of God as a child will always be like Santa. You pray and ask for him for something. All my life there’s always this teaching about God. Somehow, at first, I never really cared about it. I never seemed to be aware about it, that everything that I do, in the church, the prayers and everything are just performing rituals or just a part of a routine in my life. It was a blind understanding about God. Well at least, at this point I can say I was able to change that way of thinking in me. Well, you see, prayer is not about asking God what to do. I don’t think it works that way. For me, a prayer is a sign of humility to God, to show that we are His people, that He remains above all else. We don’t just ask in a prayer. When a Christian prays, he also gives thanks for what God has done for him, and praises His name.

What do I know about God? I can mention a few. God is perfect. God is a supreme being. God knows everything. He is above all else. He is our creator. God is powerful- powerful enough to create something out of nothing, and destroy something back to nothing. I know that He’s the father of Christ, the Messiah. He is a loving God, and a just God. Despite of all this knowledge about God, I still don’t understand a few things about Him. I am a believer, but I don’t know how to describe myself and to lay down my own point of understanding about God, although within me I know there’s something or some things (I hope) that I understand about God. (There’s some kind of irony here…)

GOD, WORLD, MAN (part 4)

2007-04-22T20:22:00.000+08:00

Going back to the imperfect world and the imperfect me, yes, I know that I am not perfect. I have my own flaws. But then again, despite of all these imperfections, there are also good things and good points in this world that makes life worth living. I appreciate what this world has offered me so far, in my 17 years of existence in this world. I appreciate the fact despite the flaws I have, I have friends who accept me as who I am. I am blessed to have caring and loving parents. I am provided with things that I need. I appreciate the fact that when I wake up each morning, despite of all the challenges and the chaos I have to face, I found peace in sleep. I appreciate the fact that I was able to go to school and meet these people: teachers and classmates. During my elementary and high school days, our batch was considered as one of those chaotic, naughty pupils. Oh yesss… We were the batch with many cases, with students always get logged in the Formation journals, which, the first quarter of the school year has not yet finished but the stumbling blocks pages are already full. We were the batch who has made our advisers and some of our teachers cry. We were the batch who is still hyperactive till the end of classes. We were the batch who has made a lot of destructions inside the classroom: we have destroyed blackboards, teacher’s tables, doors, windows, door frame, chairs, broke the fluorescent lights, the electric fans. We have disobeyed school rules, and have fought with other batches as well. Our batch never works until it’s already two days before the deadline. Ooooohhhhh, what a chaotic world!! But you know what? I did not regret that I was a member of this batch. Here, I found true friends. Here, I learned how it is to work together. Here, I appreciated the fact that despite of all the endless quarrels that we face, we are still intact. We remain close to each other. Despite of all those troubles we faced, we found smiles on our faces as we recall the incidents that have happened to us, and even laugh at them. Despite the somewhat “tagilid” or bad reputation that we had, we were able to overcome or somehow change that reputation because we were able to grow up somehow. We were able to learn from all those mistakes. I appreciate the fact that in this batch I learned that we can always have fun despite of everything that we face. When we cry as a whole, we cry by heart. When we promise, we tend to keep it. We have different peer groups, but there are no quarrels among peers. Quarrels are often taken id\individually, man-to-man. I appreciate the fact that sometimes when you can’t just take it anymore, you have friends you can lean on to. I appreciate the fact that the alarm wakes me up early in the morning and still I go to school late, even though the school’s just a two-three minute walk from home. I appreciate the fact that the teachers still scold us because it’s what we need, and that revealing our true nature with them, which is, being naughty and all those silly stuffs, made us close to them, and they are like friends to us outside school. I appreciate the late hours working on projects together, in a group mate’s house, learning how precious time is, and by working together, we were able to finish the stuffs. I appreciate the fact that even inside the group (my peers), we tend to quarrel, and in the end it only made our friendship stronger. I appreciate the fact that in the end of the day, we have to part, yet still we have tomorrow waiting for us. And now, I came to realize that I do love my batch, my classmates, whom I spent 10 years of my life with them, and that now, I miss them all along.

Once, I thought that I was unloved, only to realize that I was wrong. I wasn’t able to notice the simple things given to me, because all I thought of was misery. I appreciated the time I was in deep misery, on the verge of breaking and falling apart, because I found out that I have a family, and friends to help me out. I appreciate the fact that I have a dad and a mom, and two annoying brothers, who keeps me company at home. Life is worth living with all those simple yet precious moments that I have experienced, and the future didn’t matter at all. Sometimes reality or the whole truth didn’t matter at all. What I care the most is the entire moment, which contributes to the feeling of wanting to exist still. I appreciate all the pains that have been inflicted on me, for I would not have been a better person, and remain the same old me, looking at life with complete misery. Sometimes I thought that misery can also be beautiful. Like listening to a sad music: it sets me into a dramatic mood that contributes to creating certain ideas in the mind. It is a melancholic beauty of some sort, that’s why I like sad or dramatic music. I appreciate the fact that I’m burdened with school works. It means that I am studying, and these works are ways of enhancing my skills and way of thinking. (Oh, shut me up! You know I’m lying, don’t you? Hahaha! Who likes school stuff? Wahehehe! Haha. Just joking. I’m speaking of it for real). I appreciate the fact that I have certain obligations, meaning that I am entrusted to do a task; that they believe in my capability to work. I appreciate the drama episodes of my life. It brings color to my life, to my existence. I appreciate the litter after a gathering, knowing that I have friends to clean up the mess with me, and they are here with me. I appreciate a single text from a friend, telling me that I can do it, because that person believes on what I can do. I appreciate that once I lost my voice, knowing that I had a good time singing and enjoying the time with my friends all day yesterday. I appreciate that I can still see, that I can still hear, taste, smell and feel. I may not have all the money in the world, but I have a family and people whom I can call true friends. I appreciate the times when we haven’t talk to each other for a long while, knowing that we already miss each other. I appreciate school days because I have my allowance.

There are a lot of things I’m thankful for, and I can’t help but mention those in order to satisfy the question, “Is life worth living.” I am thankful that I still have something to eat when I get home. I appreciate the fact that I have a mother who takes care of me all the time, without asking for anything in repay. I am thankful for having a father, who, although very far away most of the time because of work, is happy to see us all, and believes in my capability and my talent. I am thankful for having an older brother to show me an example of discipline. I am thankful for having a younger brother, who helps me develop myself with all his criticisms, and for sharing with me the same passion for movies and anime. I appreciate the fact that I still have home to go to in the end of the day, and a home to give me comfort when the day stresses me out. I’m thankful that there’s a mother waiting for me when I get home late and tired, knowing that there’s someone who is concerned about me, and knowing that I am loved. I appreciate the fact that my mom holds my hand still at this age of mine when crossing the street, or walking along the street, knowing that there’s someone who’s protecting me. I appreciate a pat on the shoulder by someone, encouraging me. I am thankful for all the losses that happened, knowing that there are things to improve. I appreciate the pouring rain, the warmth of the sun, and the wind brushing through my face, the trees giving me shade. I appreciate the noise in the city, knowing that we are civilized. I appreciate the morning sun, knowing that I woke up and was able to see the beauty of the rising sun once again. I appreciate that I am able to feel pain, because I realized the importance of love and comfort. I appreciate that I love, and am being loved back. I appreciate that I am created, born in this world full of turmoil, yet still was able to find moments of peace despite of all the madness and disorder of this life. In the end, it’s the matter of how you perceive the beauty of the world. There’s beauty in madness after all. It is better to feel pain than to feel nothing at all. To feel pain, is to feel and realize that you’re still alive. It’s good to still be alive, and continue to live on.

GOD, WORLD, MAN (part 3)

2007-04-22T20:20:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, when you speak of the truth, no one would believe. Like, the whole society believed once that the world is flat. Then, someone opposed the idea. What happened to that person who opposed to the idea? He was persecuted. Later on, as more finally conducted more studies and found out that the world wasn’t flat; the society was able to believe after quite some time. The Church said this and that and all the people followed and believed. When one opposes to a belief, he shall be put to exile, or to death. When the emperor said he’s wearing an invisible cloth, the people tried to believe. Sometimes, there are facts that a lot don’t consider them to be true enough. Therefore, there is a point where truth comes with power. It’s like, if I have power, I have the power to dictate which things are to be considered true or not. Somehow it rings to a certain reality, which the world portrays today. Then, I guess the truth comes with reputation. But then again, we don’t know if the mind speaks for reality itself, or just something we want to believe, and what we want others to believe. Is what we see today reality itself? In order for us to see the truth itself, we must set ourselves free from this world then, if this is not the actual reality. But then, how do we detach ourselves from this world that we are now living? In the end, I thought that, even if the truth is revealed, it’s still a matter of choice whether you want to indulge it or not.

At this point, I still haven’t answered the point of my existence, why am I here. Like what I have said, I don’t know why. But I chose to exist and live in this world in order for me to find out. Once, I tried to destroy the life that was granted to me due to the feeling that there’s nothing worth living for. I guess I was wrong. During that time, I came to a point that I thought I was going to be crazy. I saw nothing but misery, the chaos I made, the chaos made by the rest of the people that have inflicted me and some other people. There is evil in this world that lurks around every corner of everything. I felt as if I was inflicted with so much pain and suffering that I don’t want to consider living in this world anymore. The world was not made perfect. Sometimes, or most of the times (maybe), man has brought the whole human race to its own demise. The whole world is in chaos indeed. Thinking of all these problems and chaos, the world seems to be a big trash. Yet, here we are, still alive, still standing. Despite of all the chaos that have surpassed, men chose to exist and live. There’s a point in my life where my existence is nothing but a robotic routine. Waking up, taking a bath, go to school, study, and by afternoon, go home, watch TV, eat dinner, do home works, projects and stuff, study, brush teeth, sleep. The next day’s still the same. In the end you get tired of everything. Everything seems to be so dull. So what is the point?

In this world, a lot of people-all people face different kinds of pain and suffering, because of the problems of this world, because of the imperfect world in which we were set upon to dwell. Why does suffering exist in this world? Yes, it has its own purpose of why it has to exist in this world and touch the lives of everything and everyone, so many times a day. We too are not perfect. But imperfection is not a hindrance of living in this world, and that making our lives worth living. I am imperfect, I know that. Oh, by the way, how do I know that I know what I know? Is it because I can feel that I know it? The senses can sometimes deceive you. Is it because of the idea that I have formed in the past, which now serves as some kind of information? Damn… I know what I know because I know that I know what I know! Period!!! There is good and evil in this world. One cannot exist without the other. It creates balance in the entire world that we now live in. With every action there lie different kinds of consequences, depending on the action that one has done. The consequences can either be light or grave, good or bad.

GOD, WORLD, MAN (part 2)

2007-04-22T20:17:00.000+08:00

I saw the world falling apart… I saw MY world falling apart, or the mind has fed me up of the things that cause my brokenness, that I felt that I no longer fit to live in this world, that my existence has nothing to do with anything else. Death… They say death is the end of everything. Death could mean going back to the nothingness of which, everyone came. The feeling of inexistence can be death in some aspect. It’s something like, I know I exist in this world, but no one seem to notice my existence, nor care for it, therefore, it’s the same as being dead. But then the conscious mind is still working, so it’s not really the real death itself. No one literally died and came back to life. Yes, there were people who claimed that they died, and then they said they were passing through this tunnel and there’s the light in the end, but they went back to there body, blah, blah, blah. I don’t know whether to believe or not. What goes beyond the tunnel, beyond the light? If death means nothingness, then they have not yet surpassed death when they said they died because they still see something that exists in this world, and that the conscious mind was able to see what they saw. But whatever it is beyond that light, I don’t want to know. I don’t want to experience death now, as what I have imagined myself thinking of death before. Oh yesss… I tried to kill myself before. It’s because I felt my existence is nothing, when existence really means something. Thinking of death, thinking of how to kill myself, or wishing that a disease would kill me right now was how I was before. Talk about depression eh? What lead me into this kind of state? Is it my friends, my family, the people around me, or is it the mind itself? Who cares if I live? What’s the difference between existing and living? Is it something like this: Saying, I “live,” but it doesn’t mean that “I exist?” Or is it the other way around? I exist but I do not live. There is a “me” in this world, but how do we define the world “live?” Can we live without existence? To say that “I exist” would simply mean, here I am. I am here in this world. It is being aware of one’s self. But what then is “I live?” I exist, but living isn’t attached to it. Is it a choice to continue on living? What if you cease to live? You remain existing, yet non-existing as well… As if there’s no worth with your existence if you do not live… (Uh-oh! Confusion!! @_@ The mind whirls around and wishes for a break!) Oh, what a crap! Stop! That’s it! I don’t want to think more about it, because I’m trying to value this life that I am holding onto right now. Again, what drives me to exist? Hell, I was born in this born without knowing why. No one told me why, nor do they or anyone even know theirs. Why am I being asked with these questions, which I know for myself I can’t the absolute answer to it? If I was able to answer it, and another one was able to answer it too, and we have different answers, which one is true then? How the hell should I know?

(Driven by headache and days without proper sleep, it can’t be helped that the mind is feeding information throughout the body with the “irritated” or “annoyed” feeling.)

What are these problems for? Why do problems exist? Don’t they contribute to the disarrayed state of this world? Are they also results of what we have done in the past? If that is so, am I a result-a problem-caused by those people in the past? Am I just another added problem when I was brought into this world? How can I answer such questions, when the answers to them are not in my hands? The world is full of problems, full of chaos that leads everyone into confusion and doubt, until we found ourselves lost. We think of everything too much that sitting back and thinking for a few minutes felt like an hour or so. Sometimes, we do think too much of so many problems, we end up staring at a blank space which felt like time has slowed down or stopped, and when we realized that we were “hanging” (it’s a term we use when computers run too many programs and because of that the system overloads, and the programs start to not function for a while), we suddenly go back into what we believe is the reality and then think of everything again. Well anyway, can’t these questions be enough reasons to continue this existence, to find answers to these restless questions in this life? If there is nothingness in death, how will you then fill up these questions with answers if you are in the “nothing” (-when you’re already dead)? Will it satisfy you if you then, if you weren’t able to answer such questions raised?

Giving the mind and the body rest, we take a nap or sleep. Here, the mind and the body is still functioning, but is somewhat in a passive state. As we go to sleep, we sometimes dream of things. These things we dream are ideas we got from reality. And so we are asked: How can we distinguish between reality and dream? It’s confusing, isn’t it? If we simply say that reality is based on the senses, how come we can also feel and see in our dreams? Then Here I am, sitting in front of the computer, sweating because of the summer heat despite of the time (night time already), and a bit sleepy and tired because of the stress that has been laid upon me for the past days. Could it be possible that none of this is true? What if this air I breathe is not really air? If I look at my hands, are these really the hands? Does what I smell exist? How come I can also sense what I sense in what I believe reality is, to a dream, which is the product of the mind? So I guess it is not the senses that dictate what reality is. It could be that dreams are part of what we call reality. What the mind has created can contain some truth in it. Still, that creation’s basis is reality, right? All throughout the lives of men we are fed up by different information about our existence and the world’s existence. Hell, there’s so many of them you don’t know which one will you believe into. Isn’t the world so confusing and chaotic? What is the truth? Has anyone found out the absolute truth? Who knows? Do you know? Is what we call the happy moments of our lives just a creative idea of the mind, and in truth, reality is nothing but chaos? What does the real world look like, once waking up and finding out the truth is achieved? (Commercial: I just took a break and by chance, saw The Matrix on TV and watched it for the nth time. I recalled what some of the characters said…). Whatever the truth is, I think one cannot simply bear the weight of it. It can also be a crazy idea of some sort, yet is possible to exist too. Recalling what I have watched, they said, “There’s Truth in Fiction. There’s fiction in Truth.” Isn’t it ironic? Somehow they have a point on that statement. Fiction is something created by the mind. A lot of great authors have made fiction novels. Reading them, I know that the happenings in this book aren’t true. But looking back again, they somehow reflect of what is on reality that makes it look or seem real enough. They represent some ideas of reality, literally and figuratively. Yet again, being created by the mind, the basis of fiction is reality itself. So there’s some kind of an idealistic truth in it. They’re not true, but have the possibility to be true. I myself am fond of reading fictional books: Michael Crichton, Sidney Sheldon, Stephen King, Dean Koontz, etc. While reading, I am divulged into a world created by the mind. For example, I am reading Stephen King’s CELL, where an outbreak happened: A Pulse, transmitted through the cell phones. Anyone who has been using their phones when the Pulse has been released became crazy; they ran all around, screaming and babbling different words, and have this rage within them that they just want to kill anybody they see. There were a few survivors, which are those who have not used their cell phones, and now struggle to survive, not knowing that these people-turned-crazies don’t remain crazy as the days past. It’s a fight for survival. The truth is yet veiled (I haven’t finished the book yet because of school work!). While reading the book, I found myself intrigued of everything that is happening. It is of course, not true. Yet somehow it reveals some truth in it, like, in an outbreak like that, and with everyone crazy, it’s hard to trust anyone else, and a lot more points. There also comes the question, “What if,” which now assumes that there is a possibility of something like that in the story to come true. They’re based from reality, after all. There’s fiction in truth. Somehow the truth can be overwhelming, that you can’t seem to believe everything about it. I guess it’s where the dialogue “I can’t believe this is happening!?! This is Madness!?!?!!” was born. It’s the incapability to indulge the truth. Now, does knowing the absolute truth mean setting yourself out of the world that you once knew to something new? If that’s the case, will you be able to handle the change? Will I be able to?

GOD, WORLD, MAN (part 1)

2007-04-22T20:03:00.000+08:00

Where am I? A lot of people ask that certain question. I am here, in my house, in the study room, sitting in front of a certain technological device called the computer, facing the screen, and typing what comes into my mind, my fingers continuously banging on the keys of the keyboard as I type in the letters which form into words, to phrases, to sentences, to certain thoughts and some ideas. I hear the sounds from the television, and the other noises made by the rest of the people inside the house. Where am I? Here I am, living in this world, which we call earth. Here I am, breathing oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide. Here I am, trying to face all the problems imposed to me, including the fact that I have to finish a ten-page term paper, the final plate for a major subject, and wondering why I still have to go to school when all lessons are finished. Where am I? I’m living in a world where there are a lot of things, when at first when I was not yet born there was none. I wasn’t longing for existence, and wasn’t wishing for it at the beginning. It was like, just a snap of a finger and there I was, born out of my mother’s womb. Seeing the first light must have been wonderful. It is the light, meaning that once it was dark, that there was nothing. Realizing that there was darkness is when you realized that there was such a thing as light. So, here I am. What’s next? Ah, the light. The freaking light... The first realization of the existence of light must mean that there is life, that there is this world. Oh yes. It must have been a delightful thing. But I was innocent then. I have nothing in mind. I do not have the entire knowledge of what the world has. I don’t know that there are other things existing in this world. At first there is only me. And then maybe the very first time I heard a voice, maybe my mother’s, I might have thought there’s someone else existing other than me. And the very first touch that I have felt means there are other things existing around me. The first time I began to see, I recognized the existence of light, and seeing the face of my parents, I knew. How come there is already existence of something else before me? What is the reason of me being here, being born in this world? First of all, I do not know the reason why I am thrown out in this world, and now, still continuing to exist at the present time. I have lived for the past 17 years or so, yet still, I do not know the exact reason why I am here. It wasn’t my choice to be here. It was nobody’s choice in the beginning if he or she wants to exist. There was no me before but here I am. Why am I here? I was born from the love of my parents, therefore I exist. Haha. Oh yessss… The sense of biological thinking is that the egg cell unites with the sperm cell and then there is the cell growing into an embryo, and after some time, growing into a fetus, and then into a baby. But really, why am I here?

Well, at first, I believe everyone was like this too. You get what you want when you cry. Of course, I haven’t developed the sense of speech yet as a baby, so in order for me to get notice is to cry, to make those babbling and/or squealing noises. You get the attention fast when you do those things. When I’m hungry, it’ll be like crying so they can feed you. They will play with you and try to make you laugh. When you cry, they’ll know that you pee or check if there’s something wrong with you. It’s some kind of a delightful thing you know? But then, as you grow up, there’s this realization that you need others in order for you to live. It is still like that up until now. At first, when there was nothing, nothing else matters, not even me. How do I know then that I really exist? Could it be through others and their existence too, that the feeling of existence draws into me? Oh well… (Commercial: I just received a text from one of my buds telling me, “Aja aja buddy! Kaya mo yan!” Oh yesss… The feeling of headache draws upon me, but nothing must stop me from continuing this freaking term paper. Ganbatte ganbatte ne!! The price of finishing this is priceless: A toast for the damn Holy Week vacation! Yay! Tagay na!!)

At first, there was nothing. Nothing mattered. But as I came into existence, as I continue to live up until now, I value the things that I have encountered, the things that I have with me. At first, life was as simple as waking up, taking a bath, eat, go out and play on the streets with other kids, go home, take another bath, eat and sleep. Before, as a child, all that matters was play. It’s a part of life I guess. Letting children play is putting into their minds that life is something to be enjoyed. I don’t merely care about time, what the hell I was doing, as long as I was having fun. But as the existence of “me” continues, I continue to grow up, and begin to realize more of what this world has. And, without recognizing for quite sometime, more and more responsibilities are bestowed upon me. I guess it’s the price of knowing more of a lot of things. While in the past, nothing matters, now, every inch of thing seems to matter. That just sucks most of the time. Like right now, finishing this damn term paper is what matters at this point of time. I only have days left and I have my quota to reach for the day. It sucks that all the while you have to think of a lot of things. (The sense of headache grows intense, as I continue typing. Take note: This is just the second page of the entire project!) In the end I begin to realize that life is not just fun as to what the kids usually have in mind. Life is not just full of problems. Life is a responsibility. Continuing this life would mean a lot of responsibility, not just for the self but for others as well. Nothing mattered at first. In the past I was nothing. But here I am. I am no longer nothing, but something that exists. How do we exist? What things contribute to our/my existence? Again, why am I here? Why continue to exist? I don’t know why, but the drive of continuing to exist is in me.

Pathetic..

2007-03-02T18:04:00.000+08:00

Yosh.. Finally.. It has been months already!! Damn!! Well anyway, at last I've updated and made another post. Sheeeeesshh...

What the hell.. Right now I'm angry at myself. I didn't like the way I was since the start of the term. Everything was like out of my hands. I can't believe I'm turning myself down because of what I was doing. I sucked. I definitely sucked. And I feel really mad at myself. I wsn't able to put my best foot forward this time. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Damn it! Right now I'm trying to be active, and I'm trying hard to reach the grades I want. Grrrrr... I have to defeat my old self in order to do that.

Anyways, lately I tried to act on my own, decide on what I want to do. I can't just cling onto my friends forever. I have to work my own way sometimes, ne? Dakara, I tried to go on a different way from theirs. Actually I've been doing that ever since I entered college. But it's different this time. And I hope the path that I've taken will be a nice, and wonderful road that will lead me into something great.

February's the month of Hearts as we all know. On Valentines Day, I don't have a boyfriend to ive me an expensive boquet of roses or a box of expensive chocolates, take me to dinner or something, but I have friends whom I hanged out with. I even received chocolates from them. So Valentines is not just for those who are in a relationship. Hey, I've got a bunch of friends who make all of my days worth living and I've ot people around me who are loving. Heehee... So Valentines not a sad day after all.^_^

INSANITY...

2006-12-21T01:28:00.000+08:00

SCHOOL
The 2nd semester's over. I just have to get my course cards. Hope I can still make it to the Dean's List. Haaaiiiizzz... There's nothing much to talk about school. Still the same rush hours, cramming of projects and paperworks. Good thing it's over now.

OBLIGATIONS
I know I have my obligations. But there are times (like right now) I really feel pissed about this "obligation" thingy. It's getting into my nerves actually. Or maybe I was the only one thinking it was some kind of obligation? Yeah, maybe. But can't I make a choice of what to do in this life? Why can't I just forget about it a few times in my life? Why do I always have to be there? Can't they make it themselves? Of course they can! I can quit anytime. But something's holding me back. But it pisses me off to be there just the same. And what I hate the most is not being able to do what the hell is right. Welcome to the Perfctionist ME. Damn. Why can't I do something else besides that for a while??? Is it a crime if I didn't make it there? I've been in the service for almost eight years. I've never felt this kind of freaking shit before. I've never been pissed off like this about this.. this obligation in my whole life.

FREEDOM
Yeah... Having an issue about Freedom. Something personal. Well, for the past days I've been a prisoner of my own house. I can't even go out and hang out with my college friends. How will I enjoy college then???!?!?! Man.. This sucks.

FAITH
Yeah... Right now I'm starting to question my faith. I feel like bullshit right now. And I can't believe I'm typing all this up. Maybe I'm just geting emotional or something. Why am I saying this? What the hell is wrong with me??!? Let lightning strike me to get this freaking shit out of me.

CHRISTMAS
I can't feel it yet.. I wonder why? Fuck.

Make me stop. Make me reret what I said. Make it stop...

>>Hours past midnight. I don't expect me to be writing rationally anymore. What my mind says, I type it down. I'm trying to remain sane in here. Get a grip of my hand... Don't let me slip away.. way, way down below...

In my head

2006-11-19T21:59:00.000+08:00

>>>Death.. something that is common to us all.. something that we cannot escape. No one knows when one will die. But it is not necessarily the end. Death is just the beginning of another journey that the living can't figure out, can't understand.. Who knows the truth behind death? Only God knows... He has his reasons why, and it takes a lot of time for one to understand..

>>>Life.. When people see death right before their eyes, they should have realized how important life is. No one knows how long we're going to live. No one knows what lies ahead of us. We have to take steps in order to see... Life's too precious to be wasted on grieving, on nursing the anger and pain within... It will only make us bitter, make us stagnant... Taking one step forward can change a lot of things... Looking at things the other way around will help us understand better why such things happen to us and help us grow more mature... Live life to the fullest... Every second matters and every moment is a treasure...

>>>Love... Asking yourself, "why does it has to be someone very close to me..??" It tears you apart, I know... And you don't know whether you'll be happy for them, or should you feel jealous? "I don't have the right to get jealous, he's not mine in the first place..." Funny... I've used that line before. And I'm hearing it from another person's lips. And every moment you see them, it hurts you a lot that you just want to disappear... I understand that kind of feeling.. Hahaha...

>>>Friendship... I don't know exactly what to say in order to give comfort.. I can only give you my shoulder for you to cry on... I can only lend you an ear and listen until no more words come out... I can only give you a nice pat at the back, or a big, nice, warm hug... and be a wall to protect you... They're the least I can do... for I am a friend... YOUR friend...

>>>Imagination... Maybe it was just my imagination...-a dream to be exact... But it happened... And you'll just realized you've seen it before when you have felt the chill running down your spine, or a sudden nausea/headache... It has happened before-few times before... It's freaky...

>>>Patience... is a virtue... "I'm sick and tired of waiting..." Haha... Time passes by so slow for those who wait... I cannot simply judge, or I am not in the position to say anything at all... Haha... I too, am waiting. But while waiting, I enjoy myself with a lot of stuffs...

AM I NUTS or whaT?? Hahahaha!!

Being sOOOO SAD/Depressed...

2006-10-27T23:20:00.000+08:00

I've been sad this whole week because my bestfriend just left... The morning I woke up I knew she was gone.. I just said, "Wala na siya umalis na siya..." I felt really sad...T-T

No more morning greetings, saying "God bless and take care," and "I love you..." No more Good night greetings.. No one to remind me to pray... There's none that I can text with during my lunchbreak when everyone else plays counterstrike...T-T

I felt depressed I bought a cake- Chocolate Marjolaine for my mom and for me to eat.. Suddenly I craved on spending my money on anything. Sigh... I just wanted to buy anything and EAT whatever I want... Waaaaaaaaah!!! My savings are suffering because of this.. I need to change...

There's nothing else to do but to move on. Time never stops for you, unless you're dead, I guess. I have to hang on for everything else that's left with me. I'll get used to it after sometime.

Right now I want to be busy and work, work work!!! I've been liking Algebra these days.. Haha!! Miracle indeed.^^, I have my hands on working with our MTV, designing the choir logo, and working on our Barkada Magazine, which is to be published on summer next year. I'm very excited actually. After all I'll be doing these stuffs. I better train myself earlier in order to be prepared for my next years in College.

My mind is running, time is running.. There still are school stuffs I need to finish... I have to balance my time in order to finish everything. May God help me in everything that I do..

Sigh... I'm so sad I want to WORK, WORK, WORK!! Time to work!! Hahaha!!^-^ More stuffs to do, more things to think of, more days and nights in front of the PC, more on staying up late.. Well then.. LET THE FUN BEGIN!! Lol!!^^,

No Goodbyes...

2006-10-24T19:16:00.000+08:00

No goodbyes... I didn't say the word.. Maybe after the phone call, but... It's different...

Sunday, I was able to see her, even for just a while... I wanted to give her something from NEO, but it's not finished... I don't want to give her something naman just for the sake of giving her something.. I guess I'm lucky because I got to se her before she leaves, and I talked to her and took pictures with her.. See her smile.. See her wearing purple, lol!!^-^ But then, I've been pressured by time.. I promised I'd go and see her that night after the party to give her the gift we've made.. But again we had problems... I just wanted to give her the damn thing, for goodness sake!!T-T And then I had a bad headache..T-T I wasn't able to enjoy the rst of the night.. I let myself be isolated in a corner, thinking... regretting... feeling so foolish.. hopeless... I wanted to cry, but I held my tears back...

I called her on the phone using my celfone (since we don't have landline, still) the night before they leave... It was just a simple conversation, as if nothing's gonna be different tomorrow, on the moment I wake up... I didn't cry.. I didn't want to be emotional... I loaded my phone just to call her.. It was the last phone call-and on the celfone- that I've had with her before she leaves... And I still didn't say goodbye... Deep down inside I'm missing her so much...T-T

Saying goodbye is an awful thing, knowing that everything's gonna change the next day...Goodbyes are for people who are gone forever.. She's not gone.. She's just far away, somewhere out there.. We're still on the same planet.. We still look up at the same blue and nightsky.. She maybe is far away, but I didn't actually lose her.. She's here, kept in my heart... I just hope-no hopes.. we'll be BESTFRIENDS forever... I won't say goodbye, just Good Night, and See yah Later..

The last thing I did was to text her... I was up until 12, trying to place everything or most of the things I wanted to tell her.. And in the morning, upon waking up.. all I said was, "umalis na siya..." I didn't cry cuz I didn't want to.. I didn't smile... But then, I know that wherever she is right now, she's happy.. I have to be happy because she's happy... and I'm going to see her soon... My heart feels heavy.. But then life must go on..

I won't complain, and I won't question.. The stress from the last week's enough... I know He has a purpose.. He's trying to teach me something.. And it's my turn to learn the lesson He has imposed... I know He's on her side, so I don't have to worry... He's a great Father, and I know He knows what's best... We have the same "DAD" who guides us and blesses us... Maybe He'll guide us towards each other's paths once again, and I'll wait for that moment to arrive...

No goodbyes... See yah later...^^,

I LOVE YOU DUDE!! ROCK ON!!\m/

The Shittiest Week ever...

2006-10-24T19:05:00.000+08:00

I just had one of the Shittiest week ever.. I was so tired and stressed with everything.. I had to finish the invitations and work on the vid presentations for the debut, and I had a lot of school stuffs to finish too.. What made my load heavier was not being able to find time to spend with my dear bestfriend.T-T WHY?!?!?! WHY?!?!??! I had bad headaches, rhinitis, and a very heavy heart. I was so stressed I can't help but cry.. Waaaaaaaaaaah!!! Stupid POTATO!! My goodness... I just wished the time would stop for a while then I can do the rest without worrying about the time..T-T But then I have to hang on... Waaaaaaaaaaaah!!! I was pushed against the wall I think I'm gonna have a system breakdown. Waaaaah!! Shitty... Damn!!T-T Good thing it's over now.. YEah..OVER... But...T-T

HeLLo!!

2006-10-16T19:57:00.000+08:00

Whoa.. Been a long time, ei?! Oh well.. New blog today!! hahahahaha!! Lol!! Mah layout's Tatsuya Fujiwara.. Waaaaaaaaaah!! Hountouni Kakkoii!!<3

Like what I have said, but it has been a long time. Haha.. So many things have happened, I guess.^^,

For the past weeks, I've been drowned with studies.. Hahaha!! Can you believe that?? Oh.. And to tell you.. This is the first time I liked Math.. Woohoooooo!!! Is that a miracle or what?!?!?!

I helped Carlo with their group project. I helped editting their vid-making it an MTV.. It was soooo cool!! And they got the excemption!! Praise the Lord!! I was praying for that for so long..Hahaha!!

Working lately with Photoshop..Just exploring around.. And I was editting pics of Tatsuya-san and Jun-kun!! I just made icons!! Hahahaha!! Lol!!

I'm sooooo worried I might not have time with Sice.. I DON'T LIKE THAT!! NOOOOOOOO!!! Not in my Life!!T-T It's giving me a huge headache and heartache..T-T All we wanted was to hang out but our scheds were clashing.. Dang!! God, help us!!

I'm currently working with Mama Nhau's debut.. sO excited!!<3

A New Beginning.. New Challenges to Face..

2006-09-15T20:15:00.000+08:00

Well, well.. The first week of second sem's finally over. It was a bit tiring week, I don't know why. Hahaha!! Well anyways, the teachers were fine.. I just hope I can still make it to the deans list this second sem. I promised to someone that I will and I have to... Waaaaaaaaah!! I hate Math!!T-T I suck in Math.. Waaaaaaaah!!!

In this life, I know that we cannot please everybody... Take note... we CANNOT please everybody...

I have never started a war.. have I? It's something I try to avoid in my life...

By the way.. We had this activity in our Sociology class, and we have to use the hand we don't usually use in writing and drawing!! Lols!! It was hard!! I had a hard time drawing in my paper, but it turned out fine. Hehehe!! Wanna see it??^^, I used my left hand of course. And my Prof tried to guess a part of my personality while I was drawing, and he got it right!! He's DAmn Right!! Woooohh!! So cooL!! Lol!!

Rain On Me...

2006-09-10T12:03:00.000+08:00

I was able to take a nice shower/bath three times.. First was the "usual" thingie, then there was the rain and I went home, my clothes wet because of the rain. My shoes and socks were wet, my pants were wet, I'm all WET!! It's cold too.. Brrrrr...

"Damn, I looked sOOOOO good with that wet look!! Nyahahaahaha!!! Woohoooo!!!"

Bwahehehe!!! Vanity... Got it from my buddy. Woi babaita!! Hindi ako yung naunang vain ikaw yun!! Hinawaan mo lang ako!!

Oh well.. the Talent's Night at Jade's church was sOOOOOO cooL. Wahehehe!! I love their performance (Jade's band). I was banging my head and my feet, following the beat of the music, and I was like, "Woooohooo!! Yeah!!" All of them did great. Heehee!! GO PROGRESS!! Did you hear my screams?? Bwahahahaha!! Ang ingay koh... Perform kayo ulit!! Wahehehe!!

NEOS reunion.. At last we were complete, even just for a night. So happy.. Wahihihi!! It was so great that we were together again after so many.. uuhhh.. Days?? Months?? YEars?? Whatever. It felt like a century... I miss the old times. Hope we can spend time together.. longer.. Maybe a day or two. OVERNIGHT!! Yey!! Wahihihi..^^, Or three days, maybe even a week like a vacation somewhere, or a month.. couple of months.. or ma- Zip it.

I love the praise and worship part.. That would be the first thing we did. It feels sooooo good singing for the Lord!! Only, I can't sway and move that much because I was between two posts.. Wahahahaha!!^^, Mukha tuloy akong sira, but it's okay. Matagal naman na akong sira eh.. Nyahehehe!!^^,

Parting.. errr.. I hated that part cuz we have to leave already. Then we kind of messed up. I admit I was pissed, but then, I realized that I have to be more understanding and considerate. Waaaaaaahhh!! But it's a good thing that we left, because I'm afraid that we might not be able to find transpo if we go home later that night.

Hhhmmm.. nalagpasan namin ang atc kaya kailangan pa naming bumalik. Wala akong payong kaya basang-basa ako. Baha sa tapat ng 7-11 kaya nabasa ang sapatos ko as in pati medyas ko.. Wawa naman ang converse koh!!T_T My pants were wet from the zipper part down. Wahahaha!! Buti harap lang ang nabasa hindi pwet.. Well, nabasa rin pero hindi halata. Arriving at 7-11, I met an old classmate, Dereck, who helped me get a trycicle to get home. Thanks man!!^_^ I was so cold, I got colds of course, my back hurts because of the cold rain, but I'm safe at home.. Oh, did I mention I slipped?? Wahahaha!! Sa stairs pa yun!! Napaupo ako sa mga steps.. Nyahahaha!! I wish I caught myself on video.. Wahehehe!!

Despite of the troublesome journey back home, it was a glorious day. I thank God for letting us have this opportunity to see each other again after a long, long while, and that He guided us on our way home. Thank you, Lord!!

I'm a Happy Person!!

2006-09-07T19:57:00.000+08:00

See that girl beside me? That's my dearest bestfriend, Sice. Heehee!! I'm so happy I had the chance to go with her in their Youth Service!!^_^ I'm so glad!!

I thank her a lot for everything she did for me. Dude, if you're reading this, I want to say thank you for brightening up my day despite of all the odds that's happening in my life, for bringing God back into my life, for praying for me, understanding me, being there when I needed a friend to lean on for a while (kahit sa text lang!;P), forinfluencing me with your love for music, for God and Christianity, thanks for everything DUDE!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!

Oh well.. Sembreak's over today.. First sem's finally over. I survived the first sem of my life in College!! Akalain mo yun!! And I thank God for giving me the courage and strength to face each day.. Thank you Lord for not abandoning me!!T_T Thank God I made it through.. *sniff*

I'm missing my friends a lot and I hope we'd see each other soon.. Second sem starts tomorrow, September 8. So much for sembreaks, eh? Oh well..

I'm So EXCITED!! I'd be able to see Jam, Jade and Che on Saturday!! We're going to attend Jade's Talents Night in their church.^^, I can't wait!! NEOS REUNITED!! Woooohoooo!!!^^,

Life REview part 2: "COLLEGE"

2006-07-21T20:42:00.000+08:00

Oh well.. The classes started in May 22... But before that we had the orientation thingy, so at least I have an idea who my blockmates are. Just Like before, I'm still that quiet person. Nyahehehehe.. Well it was hard at first, but then after a few days, NAKAPAGSALITA na koh. And Oh, the first friend I had was Heidz. Nyaheehee... And "OH" again, I was kind of Culture-shocked too... And then I felt homesick, former-schoolsick.. I Missed my oLd BuddiEs!! But I guess it can't be helped anyway.. Boys are No, no.. Not if I can hlp it. Wahahahaha!!*ehem* Seriously, NO.

Well, first impression of the subjects were.. Uuhhh... I don't know.. I forgot I guess. Oh yeah. PE sucks.. Wahehehe!! What else?? sheeeesh... I was afraid of POLIGOV.. Well, I guess some impressions last and some do not. PE still sucks..

Anyways, I'm doing goOd. Except at one Subject that is. Goodness. I don't know if I can still survive, but I have to anyway. FOR THE SAKE OF DreAmz.. Wahehehehe!! I'm trying. GOD Knows I'm trying. I just need a little more push I guess. . Just don't push me off a cliff or something. I AM TO LIVE My DREAMZ and I definitely wiLL!!

Life REview part 1: Vacation

2006-07-07T22:44:00.000+08:00

MAN!! Been a long time since I wrote anything in this blog.. Well anyways, let's take a recap.. A VERY LONG RECAP...

April up to May 21 was my vacation, and I did nothing but stay up late and watch jdoramas.. I kind of fell in love with Jun Matsumoto.. And just got married a month ago.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! DREAM ON!!! Asa pa ako.. Wahahaha!!

Well anyways, I got enrolled at CSB and I tell you, enrollment was a total heCk!! Anyways, it was a good experience. The first time I saw my sched, I was protesting but of course I cannot udo what they have done already.

What else? My birthday was, I don't know. Fun I guess. Hehehe.. But I didn't had the kind of party I wanted because of a certain thingy I hated the most.. Sigh.. Well anyways...

I still had time with my friends.. We went out to watch a movie, I guess that was thrice. The first was Tristan and Isolde, then Silent Hill, then the Da Vinci Code. Would you believe it?!?!?! Da Vinci Code is a rated R her in the country's theaters but we managed to get in. Hahaha!!^_^

Hmm.. Something I missed? Nah... Vacation was BORING... I wanted to go to college and do school stuff.. Hehehe...

Leaving at Last...

2006-03-11T00:43:00.000+08:00

Whoa.. it sure was a long time already... Well... I've been
very busy-and I mean, really busy. So many projects and
other works to do, so little timE. And our thesis is not even
finsihed. Damn! Well anyways, At least I have done almost
everything. And our periodical was over. Thank God it's
over! So far, I haven't failed on anything yet. But I'm sur to
fail on Math and CLVE. I didn't study enough. Well, in
CL, I thought my book was lost. Thanks to Jamie, she
found it in the Locker. I wonder where it was hidden??
Hmmm... Anyways, so far so good. Haven't received any
failures yet. I just hope I don't get ANy. I still have to work
on somethings then.

For the past days, everyone's already making dramas of
leaving the school. Yes, we're graduating. Wait- Am I gonna
graduate?? waAAAAAAAAAh!!! I hope sO. If I fail in this
thesis I'm gonna be doomed forever in my life. Well
anyways, they're really getting emotional. As for me, no, I'm
not YEt. Tears are reserved for Graduation.^_^ I don't
wanna cry or say I'm leaving until this thesis and the
clearance is not over yet. I'm just making sure, ye'know.

I just watched the ending of Samurai X. DAMn!! It was sO
gOod!! I loved that anime ever since. Well,t he sad part is,
Kenshin died. It's not really a bad ending, because he died,
finishing what he's supposed to do. He may be is a samurai:
a great and legendary swordsman, but he is STILL human.
No one can ever escape death. Kaoru was the martyr type.
I'm just impressed with her devotion to Kenshin as his wife,
and wants him to share to her everything he is. Wahaha..
She really loves Kenshin, eventhough he's always far away,
and wasn't there for her and their child, Kenji She's just
there, waiting for him to come back home, patiently. I
cried when Kenshin finally arrived home, welcomed with
arms wide open by Kaoru. He still managed to walk home
even though he's already dying. Man!! I just can't stop
crying and feel the pain ye'know. Basta.. It was a very nice
animE...

Hmmm... Looking back on the past times.. Things do
change, don't they? Within a schoolyear... Sigh... But I
guess life's just like that. It all happened so fast... sheeesh...

As for me, I'm trying to be happy for myself. I thank God.
It's hard to forget if it's still is there to remind you. But
anyways, I feel much better now.^_^ And I'm
happy--Ahihihi!!! Nothing. I'll just keep it for myself. The
feeling might slip away.^_^

All I want now is to graduate and start a new one in
College. I'd be more serious this time... Waaaaaaah!!! For
the sake of achieving my goALS... I have to do this...
Ahihihi!!!

The beautiful days.. and Headache part 3

2006-02-12T18:50:00.000+08:00

Saturday, we have this Plaro thingy in CAT. We, the officers are to officiate. I was planning not to attend CAT in case I still have my headache. Unfortunately when I woke uP, I didn't feel my headache. ANd MORE unfortunately, I felt it whn I was already at schooL. I laso felt nauseatic. Sheeeesh!! What luck!!! DAMn!!! Anyways, I tried to get rid of the pain and laugh with the cadets or laugh at what they do/look like while playing the game. Anyway, I still DO nOT feEL WeLL. I wanted to vomit. And they were joking around saying I'm pregnant. HAller????

Later that afternoon I didn't practice on the choir anymore because I do feel dizzy and I can't leave Maricar and Mama Nhau at home. Steph and Junie went to attend Lebadura. Not sooner or later Kuya Bonn came with two lsagnas for us. But actually it was suppossed to be ONLY for Maricar. Ahihihihi!!! Then we ordered pizza and then, they went off becuZ they still have to attend church. I'm hearing masses at ouR community church it's at 7am on Sundays.

The beautiful days.. and Headache part 2

2006-02-12T18:49:00.000+08:00

When I woke up Friday morning, mom asked me if I'd be going to school. Ididn't ansswer, but I have to go, because I'm assigned as student-teacher. Damn!!! My headache just attacked again, worse this time. But I still went to school. Only a few highschools went to school, since we just came from a field trip, and everyone's tired, even the tachers who had come to the field trip. Nonoy was sick when I read his group text message. I still went to school foR the sake of the teacher I'm replacing and, MAN!!! The preschool-PRep students were so WILD!! I think I'm gonna go crAzy with them!! Sheeesh!!!! I wasn't feeling already, and they made things worse. But I enjoyed a few students like little Marc- the cute, chinito boy who looked like Clyde or my Big Bro Paul when they were still WHITE in complexion and still cute and young, and Hana, and Felisse. Felisse was really sweet you know. Few kids cried in my classes.. Sheesh... I hate it, but I guess I have to bear with it. Who knows? I might be having kids toO.. But that would still come Later in my life. Not now...

Hmmm.... Then, Mrs. Sese said we can now go Home, since we're all tird. THANKY YOU MA'AM!!! She still has a heart, you know..??? Wahihihihi!!! ANyways... I then talked to Lois for a while. Then he kept on insisting about the GUy whom I LovEd.. DAMn Loved but GOt HUrt becAUse I was ASA... Sheeeshh... He knows now. But it'll soon be over. Just a few weeks, days left. And it's all over. I just hope I won't fail in my thesis, dammit!!!

When I arrived home, I didn't eat lunch anymore. I just ate chocolate and drank lotZa water and took medicine and slept. I was freakin' hoT. Got fever... BecuZ of the DaMn HEAdaChe...

The beautiful days.. and Headache part 1

2006-02-12T18:47:00.000+08:00

Hello there... Was it already a long time..??? Well, this week was really, really fun. Although it was very tiring. We just had our dAmn field trip last Thursday. Gosh, The night before, I slept from 9-10pm. Then I woke up and turned to my PC. Ahehehe... I was watching music videos of Final Fantasy. It's where I found the music of Mentake, a Canadian band. Ahihihi!!!^_^ What else... I was talking to Steph through chat, giving her the playlist she'd burn. Grrr... She lost the one I wrote earlier at school. S\Anyways, she slept late. I slept earlier. That's because my mum already got mad at me.. Wahihihi!! I was listening on my playlist in my PC. My music, of course, is Rock, and I was baning my head, and my foot stomping (was the term right..?) at every beat, when someone just spanked me in the head. I looked back and mom was standing there. I was shocked at first when she spanked me, and I just laughed. She then scolded at me to go to sleep. Damn!! Then I just told Steph I'll wait for her to finish. I was tuck in bed, and I can't sleep... Then I just talked to DAd, and then, I blacked Out. Sorry Steph!! I dunnO what tim I slept but it was really late.

Anyways, our bus wasn't there when we arrived at RFC. Our group was there, laughing and having fun. Our Group (Bus #8) was the bESt!! Ahihihi!!! It was very fun. When I woke up I felt headaches and I got cOLds.. AS usual... Sheeesh... Total DISTrACtion...

I was texting KUya TJ along the way, and he said they're fine. We're much better off, I believe.Ahehehe... Anyways, I just slept along the way, trying to get rid of my headache. Then we had a stop-over at Pampanga to got o the CR or buy stuffs. I wanted a drink/liquor... I WANTEd Liquor BADLY. But I want to graduate and I want a cleen slate before I leave the school so, I got control of myself. Waaaaaaah!!!!

When we got to the Dambana ng Kagitingan, damn it was sO cOLD up there. Sheeeesh!!!! We went to this LONG, LONG, LONG trail up to where the cross was. It was really tiring!! DAMn!!! But it was nice up there, you can see almost everything below. But it was cold... It gave me the shivers though I'm wearing a jacket.

I went up to the arms of the Cross with RAks(Ranen), and Papa kEvin. We were joking around before we get up, because we're riding an elevator, "Naku Papa Kevs!! Puno na yung elevator pag tayong dalawa nA!!" And we were laughing. Ahihihi... The view up ther was gorgeous. Amazing. Never seen quite a beautiful view.... I only stayed there for a short time because it was really cold, I can feel my head splitting in half.

Then... the next destination was Subic. Before we get there, I asked for medicine because of my headache. Can't bear it anymore. Then there we were... We were the first to arrive at the beach. Too bad we can't play in the water. Our Dear Sir Peter didn't allow us. Sigh... We arrived at 3pm there. Call it a lunch huh... Anyways, it was still fun, because our group shared food, even in the bus along the way. Then we played for a while on the sand. I just watched them run because I can still feel my headache.

Then we returned to our buses, and there was a tour guide of course, to guide us around Subic. Sorry, for I have fallen asleep. I can't bear the pain of headache. Then Jamie kept on disturbing me... DAMn!!!

The survival demo of Kuya SAM (short for Samson) at the Pamulaklakin was very entertaining. He was very good, and quite a comedian. I wanted an autoraph of him but I forot somehow. We had a picture together with the others anyway.

The trekking was very long, and I somehow forgot the names of the trees already. but it was worthwhile.^_^

Errr... when we got back at the bus, we changed clothes then. I had a hard time changing because the space wasn't that big and I don't know what's wrong with the top of my blouse. So I just put in the spaghetti thingy and then my jacket. Then we arrived at Duty Free. I bought chocolates for my mOm and for my Bro. Wahihihihi!!! I kind of, spent all my money for the chocolates. Wahihihi!!! Well, that's okay...^_^

On the journey home, we watched Coach Carter. It was a very,very nice movie. I loved it. ^_^

Then... we finally arrived back at RFC. We were second to arrive. Tito Juvy was waiting for us. Clyde arrived first then me. We're still waiting for Kakay and Jude. Then I just heard someone was hospitalized. Sheeez... That's why the other buses were late. Well anyways, Kakay arrived a few minutes later then we finally got home. Then I went to sleep already.

The Saturday Life

2006-01-28T22:00:00.000+08:00

Wow... Today was very busy-busy-busy!! Just because of the stupid project. Anyway,I was todo-texting all the globanians (globe-users) I know.. Ahihihi!! Can't stop but text!! Wahihihi!! Loved it actually... Anyways...

It was really tough today... Nagkapaltos nga paa ko eh.. Well, we were just walking around at SM Manila from the 5th to the ground floor for several times, searching for the store where we could by the mini-furnitures for TLE project. Well, a classmate was too stupid as not to speak of the name of the store when we asked. Sheesh!! We've consumed almost an hur looking for the damn store. Anyways,we didnSucat to 't buy many cuz it's too expensive. Then we headed to SM Sucat to fetch my bro.. Sheesh!! THen we headed home to do our project... Damn!! It was so tiring!! And THEN.. Ate Deb fetched me cuz I have to attend a choirmate's birthday, or she'll be really upset... Anyways.. Of course, what do you do in a party? EAT!! Ahihihi!! Meanwhile, a couple of other gusts were singin the videoke. Their singing wasvery awful, you'd want to take away the mic from them. Ahihihi!! Anyways.. Of course, I sang my ultimate song: Bringme to Life. They were surprised to hear me.. Well...Ahihihi!! I just really loved that song. It's my ultimate song. Wahihihi!! It was a very haffie moment to hear them clap... I never sing on videokes with a lot of peeps around... But I guess it was okay.

Anyways.. I kept on texting since early mornin when I woke up... Ahihihi!! And then... Okay change topic!!

Have to finish the project or we're all doomed for life. Anyways.. Think positive. Everyhting's gonna be fine...^_^

Now this is the Saturday Life! Only, the Mall was about shopping and projects-hanging out with friends... And going home late!!

New Year.. Lots of WOrk

2006-01-21T18:04:00.000+08:00

Blog: January 19, 2006

Hello... This is a tirin' day, really. Did a few tiring things at school. We didn't have classes anymore. I was expecting that, since the Palaro is already next week, and we, the fourth year have different responsibilities. Just helped making the banners to be hung tomorrow. I'm really tired, since it was hot. But I'm glad we didn't have classes.

Just finsihed reading a book I bought last Sunday. I was slow this time. Maybe because of so many things to do. Anyways, I was not satisfied, though it was good. Bitin kung baga. There's something missing in the story, but I did liked it. Dean Koontz, you're an absolutely great Wriiter!!! Wahehehe!! Anyways, I'm reading Sabrina books next.

This coming palaro,we'll all be very busy, since we have our own committees. Ako? Refreshment Committee lang naman. I hate it actually. Student leader pa ko. Anyways, in order to have a job well done, I have to love the task. Well, I'll just stay in the H.E. room and wash dishes and cook the meals. It's hot outside anyways. I'll just cook. Wahehehe!!!

Anyways, so many projects to be busy with, but I'm still not in the mood to make any of them. Oh od, what's gonna happen to us? Our thesis is not yet finished, our THE project's due Monday after the Palaro, Instrumentation on Physics, and the presentation in our Computr class. What th hell?! And I'm etting busier lately for my oral com in Filipino. I just hope everything will be alriht. Oh God, please help us.

What else? The test results will be due soon. I just hoped I passed the damn tests I took, or else, I'm going to et myself killed. Wait, I have to think positive. I'm going to pAss, I'll pass... wAAAAAAh!!! Thinking of College torments me, but gives me an exciting feeling too. Oh, I just hope I passed the entrance exams.It's not that I got mad, I just felt irritated with the fact that Stephanie asked HIM about the letter. Aaaaargh. He told her he didn't receive any letter from me. HELL, he's a liar. Hey, I was one of those peeps who helped in disposing the other section's letters, And I know I put my letter with his other letters. Damn Liar. Damn!! I don't know. And lately, feeling ko- feeling ko lang ha, that he wants to talk to me, but can't. I don't want to talk to him either. I don't know. I don't want to talk about anything to him. I don't even answer his questions. Maybe I answer, but I can't look at him. I don't want to look at his damn face. Grrrrr....

Sheeeesh!!! What the hell... Well, it'll be only in a few months and days before everyone departs. Konting tiis na lang.What else? Oh yeah. Just thought about my panimulang gawain. I'd be making a video. maybe an MTV, or a touch flick. I know it's going to be hard, but I gotta do something. Anyways, I'll just seek help from some people I know. I just hope it'll work. I'd be needing the BSP's help this time. I was thinking of the effcts already, and how it'll look like. Just hope everyone would enjoy watching it. And that's another problem. Where will I find a TV? Sheeeesh.. Wish me luck.. Maybe I can still chane, but I really want to make one. So, that's it. Good luck for me.

What else? Uhm... Got nothin' to say anymore. I miss Jade.. terribly. Hope she'd visit us soon. And I really hope SOOn...

vacations..

2006-01-21T18:03:00.000+08:00

Vacation: December 21-28

What nOw..? Merry Christmas and a hAffie nEw yEar.. Sigh.. It has been a long time. So many things have happened already. The quarter's exams are over, and I'm afraid I'm gonna fail on some subjects. Sheez!! And I wasn't able to help on the outreach program because I'm doing this stinkin' Thesis, and my deadline on another project was getting nearer, and I'm running out of time. What the hell.I wasn't able to join the Youth of T&C on decorating the clubhouse and everything. Aaaaargh!! Well anyways, it's all over.

Before the Christmas Party, we went to ATC, December 20. It was sOOO great and so fun.^_^ WE went shopping togther. I really wanted to go because I have to buy something to wear for the next day's Xmas party at school, and for our Xmas party in our Choir. My friends helped me out, and thank God I finally bought them. I also bought new danglings. Ahihihi!! And I also bought Jam a new blouse. SheeeZ!! It was quite expensive, and I forgot that my money's on the way to zEro, but it was okay. ^_^ Ahihihi.. Buti pa siya nilibre nila ng damiT!! Gusto kO aku riN!! Pero next time nalang, pagsexy na akO!! Wahehehe!! I also bought Mama a present. That day was sO great.^_^ I told them we'll go shopping again, but that would be before the farewell party. Well, everyone should look good right? And I promised I have a surprise for them on that daY. But I don't know if I can still do thAt, because sOMEOnE I askEd to HELp mE was nOT thERe, and hE DITCHED mEEEE!! Aaaargh!! I'm gonna shut hiM dOwn!! Grrr!! And I also need MY OWN gadgets of course. Grrrr... Sheeesh... Well anyways, Just hope I can still do that.^_^

Speaking of mOm a while ago, I just did something that led me to her anger, and to my guilt, and to many cries again. But it was already soLved. THANk yOu dAddy fOr guidinG mE!!^_^ Well, I feel better now.^_^

What happened to the Christmas Party? Well, I wore this Pink off-shoulder blouse, which made Jam make tAmpO and leave the HUmAn store!! Wahahaha!! Well anyways, The party was fine. I did not join the games though. I don't want to leave my place. Masisira ang Beauty kOh nO!! Wakokoko!!!^_^ It was fine. I then received a gift frOm Mr. Hanger. Cuddly bears...^_^ Uhm, what else? THe party on the other section looked great too.^_^ What else? Nothing mOre. Everyone looked gOod.^_^ I lookEd and feel gOOd!! WAhehehe!! Am I getting too whaT? I dunnO, effect of being broken-hearted. Wahohoho!! Lately, I just wanna look gooD. ^_^ Especially durin the Simbang Gabi, because I only have a few clothes on my closet, and I have to attnd mass for ten daYs! Minus one, cuZ I went home late from the Berk's shopping daY.^_^ Ahihihi!!^_^ I dunnO.. I just feel like doing so. And I also miss Jade. And I don't know where she is right now. I just hope she's doing well, and that she'd e-mail me or call me sooN. When I tried to call her to invite her to go with us and to the party, I felt alarmed when their phone was not in service, and she's not replying with the text messages I sent her. Why didn't she tell uS???T_T But the saddest part is, I wasn't able to see her before she goes, and do something special for her.. I told myself I'd do something for her, but she's already gone.T_T

I just finished the deadline on th same day our Choir Xmas party was held. We were so in a rush. WAaaaaAAh!! The night before, I even slept on Tita Nancy's house to finish the video, and we still weren't finished!! We still have to save it and burn it on a cd!! Good thing Tita Nancy won a new DVD player!!^_^ Ahehehe!! We used it to play the video. It was all hard work, but it was worth it anyway.^_^ They laughing at their pictures on the music video. Next time, it would be different again. I was thinking of something else. But I know it's going to be hard work.

wEll, wish me luck for next year!!

Yahoo!

2006-01-21T18:00:00.000+08:00

Blog: December 17, 2005

Hello.. What day is it..? Oh yeah.. Saturday.. The first two days of the exams are over.. Two more days, and it's already vacation. What's up with me..? For the past few weeks I've been trying to save money for the Christmas Party at school, the Chris-Cringle (Cuz I haven't given my presents yet!), and for the Christmas Party of our Choir. I don't know if I can still join the outing on Tuesday because of these thingies... And I still have to pay my debts to Paolo and Ranen!! And What the hell!! And right now I'm still trying to finish this freakin' thesis.. ALONE. What the... Anyways, good luck to me.I hope I can pass this before Vacation. Or else, I'll get a failing mark on my thesis. I'm as good as dead.

What else..? Oh yeah.. My wish list this Christmas... I just want a book to read. Particularly, I want the whole Harry Potter Collection, including book 6, the Half-Blood Prince. I'd really, really like to have the collection. Next is atleast, one of Paulo Coelho's books. I'd lik to have The Alchemist. Uhm, besidesbooks,I want new danglings, a necklace, and a new ring. Ahihihi!! Too much demands... Not enough supply!! WaHAHAHa!! I also wanta new pairof sandals or flats, new shirt, bolero, and a pair of jeans. But maybe next time nalang. Not enough budget. I also want a big Spongbob and Patrick Stuff Toy!! I'm Patrick Star, Spongebob's Good ol' dumbest, loyal bestfriend. I miss her right now, now that it's going to be Christmas soon. We used to go to the mall-SM Southmall (our third home^__^ )- after the christmas party at school. Even though we haven't got any money, we still managed to enjoy. I wonder how she's doing... I hop she's still here in the Philippines. When they leave, I want to be there at the airport and see her for the last time.We'll have our last talk, our last hugs and everything. Ahihihi!! Quite mushy, ei?=P

I was wondering if I stil have to give presents to my friends. Well, if there's still money left, I'd do that. Or I'll think of more resourceful things to do.^_^ Zero lovelife, cuz there are so many things to do. I'm still preparing the surprise-oops! Ahehehe... no surprises at all... o_O

Well, that's it. I hope everyone passes the test. God bless us all.

Sigh...

2005-12-16T17:53:00.000+08:00

What day is it? Damn.. I'm getting a little tired and weary, sick and so fucked up with the things around me.. I don't understand but that's how I feel.. Well anyways, i hate this PC of mine.. Grrrr... Ang bagal ng internet connection. Kanina pa ako napapamura and nagwawala dito kulang nalang sirain ko na to ng tuluyan.. Ahihihi..

What happened? Nothing special naman. What? I just cried over a matter na okay na ngayon. TH next time, before thinking of anything worse, ask first. Anyways, it's all right now.. Now I want beer.. Or anything alcoholic... I think I'm getting used to it. When Mom saw me holding the bottle of Beer, she and Tita Dang glared at me.. WHoa!! okay... Fine.. I never had the chance to finish drinking it. Seeeeesh.. Is this the worst in mE? No.. Maybe I can o get drugs, or be a thief, or just kill anyone.. Even myself. What the hell am I thinking?! Seeeesh.. I dunnO.. I'm getting crazy I guess. Will SOmeone hit me in the head pleaSe?!

What else? Oh.. This whole "paghanga" thing with Mr.Pure Singer-in-the-Batch is getting a little more frequent.. Maybe because we're always together, see each other the whole week.. Araw-araw parati mong nakikita, nakakasalubong,kasa-kasama.. Haaaay... I dunno.. O baka naman panakip-butas lang.. I really don't understand.. Well.. Ganyan talaga ang mga wala sa tamang pag-iisip.. Ahihi...

If ever I die.. I wanna die peacefully, and with a smile on the face, with no wearies nor any other negative feeling to leave behind.. And I only want to leav good memories of my loved ones.. What am I thinking..? Ahihi.. THinking of death is no unusual thing for me anyway.. I wait for it everyday.. Everytime.. Sigh... I wish I can do more before leaving..

Shit, I'm Back!

2005-12-16T15:31:00.000+08:00

It has ben a long time since I wrote anything here in my blog.. Nasira kasi ang aming pc kaya nagkaganito... A lot of things had happened na, I can't remember all of them.. Ano na ba ang nangyari...?

Tapos na ang periodical namin foro the second quarter and that was last october. I've been busy with a lot of things, and isa na dun ay ang preparation ng Lebadura for the coming AGAPE... before that day, retreat pa namin. What else? Wala na akong maalalan importante pa.. Oo nga pala.. wala na si kuya ryan-guitarista namin.. Inis ako sa kanya kasi bigla nalang siyang umalis.. i miss him na, actually. Hindi ko matatanggi na siya ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit kami ganito ngayon sa choir. He had been our teacherfor months. Nangarap kaming lahat na makakanta somewhere else sin with him. He had tauht us a lot. Kahit na minsan ay hindi maganda ang tingin ng iba sa kanya, malaki rin naman ang natulong niya sa'min. But now we stand on our own feet without him. Okay naman kami and I can say we can survive naman.

Marami rin akong nagawang hindi dapat, and I don't have to tell you those things dahil kailangan nang kalimutan although mahirap. Ilang araw din akong umiyak noon every night, I can't sleep because my conscience is deeply bothering me, and I kept thinking on what to do to solve them. Sigh... Ang masasabi ko lang ay, tapos na rin sa wakas..Pero...

After our periodical was our retreat. Before that week ay busy ako sa Leba.. Masasabi kong masaya naman..^_^ Kahit na nakakapagod mag-isip ng kung paano gagawin ang mga nararapat. Anyways, naunang nagretreat yung Galileo... Before they left the school, pina-iyak muna namin sila. Ahihihi... Naiiyak na rin ako pero pinigilan ko siya.. Ayoko nang umiyak... Pero... ... Anyways, may ginawa silang kalokohan sa retreat nila. When it was our turn, pagdating namins a retreat house, they were still preparing to leave. Kinausap kami ni Sir Peter and indeed, galit na galit talaga siya. Anyways, okay naman ang retreat, but I wasn't able to meet my expectations. Ni hindi man lang ako naiyak, except dun sa movie. I don't know why, pero you may feel the pain to be angry with your parents, and think and see and fel that you are nobody, and you feel lonely sometimes... Anyways, nagpapakabanal-banalan ako sa retreat namin, because I want to get closer to God.. Ahihihi!!!^_^ I gess it was wrong. Sila Kang and Tep, nag-iyakan because of lovelife. Haaaay... talaga naman eh. I know it wasn't okay for Maricar. Sipain ko siya eh.. Deny2 pa kasi eh.. Lecheng denial yan.. Ako? Inamin ko na sa "mahal" ko na mahal ko siya.. ata.. I don't actually remember what I said. Gusto ko na siyang sabihin para hindi na kailangan pang sabihin sa graduation. I'm actually okay na over that matter and I don't care anymore. I don't want him to answer. Tama na ang sabihin ko... Basta GOODBYE nalang. Punyetang lovelife tO.. Anyways, basta yOn.. okay naman ang retreat, and when we arrive sa school, I'm wearing a skirt!! Ahihihi!!^_^ Kikay ako noong araw na iyon. Actually, I'm trying my best na magpagirly naman sumtimes.. Because this whole darkness thingy kills mE.. When pagirl akO, masmagaan ang feeling kO, and i don't mind things that bothers me..

After the retreat yata, maslalo akong naging masama. Why? I began to be an alcoholic. It started when we drank champaigne on my bro's birthday. 8 shots lang naman and hindi siya nakakalasing. Then, the next was beer, October 16 was the date I guess. It was ate Krizel's birthday. Then next was Ate Ana's, October 29. This time, beer in can. Then, November 4, I drank 5 shots of gin. Gin was nice, although matapang talaga siya. Masarap siya, mainit sa lalamunan and sa tyan. When I drank the fifth, I felt dizzy already. May "tama" na akO. And take note, we still have practice for our MTV, and after that, our choir practice. Kami ni Gozon, habang tumutugtog, lasing na... Bangag na kami. Pero tawa lang. And sa choir practice, natumba ako one time. Then, pumunta kami kina Ana flor, kasi celebration ng birthday niya, pati ng kay Jude. Masaya siya actually. Pagdating namin dOn, hindi na ako lasing. Okay na ako. Ako pA!!^_^ Uminom naman kami dun sa kanila ng white wine. Of course, game na game ako dyan. Then, sumunod na inom, was Tita Madie's birthday. Grape juice lang naman. I drank two glasses, and yung last, onti nalang. Ako na sumimooth... Then, the last was Camz' birthday just this Monday. San Mig Light lang naman, I drank two glasses lang naman. Hindi ako pwede uminom ng maraming beer kasi sasakit ang tuhod ko, just like my dad's. But actually, I want to drink a lot. Okay lang naman kay mama eh. She knows I drink. "TAgay queen" na akO.. Lasinggera rin.. And I've been crying again... Ewan kO.. When I write, hatred, anger, loneliness, depression comes out. Or I just thought I was, Or maybe I just enjoy feeling those things.. whAt?! I dunnO.. iyun ang lumalabas eh...

MTV presentation.. Congratulations... We Won.. Yeah sure.. To tell you frankly, we do not and we did NOT expect to win. Nung una pa lang hindi na namin feel. But I prayed to God that we could win, because sayang ang points sa ELA and Music. We composed and arraned the song pa naman. I like the song of course. Ahihihi...^_^ What the disappointing part is that, masama ang loob ng Gali sa amin or, masama DAw ang loob nila sa sistema. And I guess masama talaga loob nila sa amin. I thought okay lang sa kanila, but what happened yesterday, because we performed again on the last day of the program, pag-akyat ng classmates ko sa taas, may nakalagay sa board namian, MSPTV. It means, Music Stage Play Television. What the hell.. Di ba nga kasi it was suppose to be an MTV? Well, ours was like that of a stage play kasi. Kahit naman kami nung una palang alam na naming parang play na ang gagawin namin. Eh bakit bA?1 Diskarte namin yUn eh.. And now, gaganyanin nila kami.. And sasabihin nilang gumastos sila, nagpakapagod sila and everything.. Bakit? Sila lang ba ang gumastos? Sila lang ba ang nagpakapagod? To hell with that MTV.. Stop being selfish, thinking of only yourself. Eh lami ang pinili eh bakit bA?! Kapag ako nainis, Ibabato ko talaga yung trophy na yan sa mukha nila. Saksak ko sa baga nila yun pag nagpatuloy pa tO.. Nakakainis eh.. Pero hindi rin.. I man, we're fourth year students, and we'r suppose to be enjoying the last months and days we still have together. And wag niyong sasabihin na dahil lang dito, our relationship as a batch is going to be ruined. Nakakainis talaga. Anyways, hindi ko nalang papatulan...

Anyways, sumthing good naman. Busy ako with a project na ginagagawa ko... I lovee doing it and sana matapos na.. Ahihihi... It's a secret and only a few people know what it is...^_^

ELLow..

2005-09-18T18:44:00.001+08:00

hey.. hAven't entried anythin for a very long time!! Seesh!! So, how's me? Well.. StiLL the same.. A little worried about someone.. a little worried about something.. AHihihi!!^_^ Well, that's me!!

Hey!! I just concretized my BHAG!! here it is..

**After graduation in highschool..
- cOLLege of course, work and study I guess.. Maybe in the school Library, or at Starbucks, Mcdonalds, Jollibee..^_^ and join many extra-curricular activities in school..^-^

**after college..
-find a job.. Maybe at Pixars, or GMA-7, or at a huge company..
-Go to Canada and work there tOO.. and I'll find jadine there..^_^

**Success..
-Go to europe and meet with Stephanie there.. Find a Boyfriend (Ahihihi!!).. Enjoy^_^
-establish our own business: chains of hotels..
-If ever successful, merge with Mr. A's company^_^
-establish branches around Asia and on Western Countries...

**fly!!
-establish hospitals in Makati and Laguna
-put up own boutique shop and magazine
-wOrk with Bill Gates!!
-Donate for chArity^_^
-Work with Pixars & Walt Disney
-Travel AROUND thE WORld!!
-Have our own Private Plane and Cruise ship..^_^

So, Whaddya sAy? Okay bA?! Now, if you want to dream, make it biG.. I'll mAke these pOssibLe as timE cOmes..^_^

Whoa!

2005-08-14T08:11:00.000+08:00

Yo mAn!! Haven't written anything for years!! nah.. Been a long time since I put something again in my blog... Anyways.. I've been very "busy" for the past weeks.. Yeah..

We wer rushing this project in ELA to be past first week of August.. Damn!! Ang galing-galing kO kasi eh.. Pare... Grabe.. The worst part is that when we're supposed to make this project in our house when the Pc got a virus.. Seeesh... Steph already made a presentation.. I just edit some of the parts. I made the Introductiona nd the Credits. Ha!! AHm sO pROud with Our PRoject.. Nyahahaha!! We went to Stacy's for three nights... Heeeheee.. DUn na nga kami kumain ng dinner e!! Kulang nalang dun na kami matulog!! Wahahaha!! Anyways.. W were able to finish the Project with the HELP of Ranenbaby!! Wahahaha!!

Hi there...

2005-07-24T20:07:00.000+08:00

wAzzuP?^_^ Well.. Enough of my unlucky weEk.. This time must be a fruitful One.. ANyways.. Last Saturday was a so-sO dAy I guess. Of course we haD our CAT classes. THe uniforms are already there.. THank GOd I already got a belt. But I don't have a garrison belt yEt. Ang bABBY kO kAsi E!! Nyahahaha!! That's what sir Leomar. But before the cadets ot there uniforms, katakot-takot ang pinagawa sa kanila. They duck-walked from the end of the of the roofdeck uP to where the officers aRe.. As usual, bantay kaMing company leaders and platoon leaders. Haaaay.. Ewan kO ba.. I pity them because they're perspiring a lot, and already tired on the first round(cuz they have to do the walk three times, getting one requirement at a time). Steph cried when they see their faces already red.. I can't look either.. Thank God I'm an officer. wAAAAAAAAAAAAh!!!!T-T I wanna cheer them alon the way, but we can't. Cuz we have to be tough. Seeesh.. Then, after all.. When the only ones left are we, officers, we just had a talk with Sir Leomar. Hindi natuloy yung log-roll namin. Haaay.. usto ko pa sana gawin yOn e. But anyways, Sir Leomar was tellin his Story about the Gulf wAr years ago, cUz he was there.. It was nice listening to his stories, cuZ it's based from true experience as a man of war. ANyways, when CAT was over, Kang, Steph, Tere, Tita Diana, Jam, June and I, went to my place, and talked about a lot of things. One was this Sh** , and.. about our stupid LoveLife. Me? I don't care that much about my Lovelife anymOre. Nasasaktan lang Ako. But anyways, Ther still are many guys aRound.^_^ There's no need to rush love. Let it come, Like Our Motto(Tere and mine's).."If death is coming, let it arrive..." Wahahaha!!^_^

Speaking of Tere, our Dear friend just cried last Friday. We didn't knew until ROmir told us. We went to see her on the nOok, talking to Teacher Liza. She was crying insid the CR just minutes ago Kang says. Sigh... Ter told our adviser she's ot a prob in the hOuse.. No wonder she's in a bad mOod since yesterday and early in the morning. And She just had a misunderstanding/ lil' quarrel with a groupmate of hers. Kasi, shes feeling paranoid most of the time, and got a very low self-esteem. She also told T.Liza that minsan daw, iniiwan namin siyA.. So, Kang and I explained. Sigh... It's hard to see a friend like that... Actually, I do understand hOw she feels.. CUz I feel the same way at times.. I feel like I'm a mental patient... Anyways, everything's settled... Thank GOd...-_-

My Unlucky Week

2005-07-21T18:41:00.000+08:00

Seeesh.. The worst week yet in my entire life... DAMN!! I don't know what's happening to me... I feel.. damn stupid.. heck.. I wanted to cry and scream and punch someone.. Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!! BWISET tALAGA!!

Just flunked three tsts in a day!! Damn!! What a waste!! I wasn't able to submit such requirements on time, screwed up our computer wOrk! What else?! DAMN!! what the hell!! I'm sO fu- Oops.. Sorry. Can't help it. >=P I can't believe I'm being like this. grrrrr.. I wanna get things straight!! DAmn!! WHAt the hELL's happenin' tO mEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!!!! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Uh-Oh... WAAAAAAAAAh!!

2005-07-09T19:13:00.000+08:00

It's Saturday again. Well.. As usual, we just had our CAT classes early this mornin. You knOw.. I set my alarm clock at 5:00 am cuZ, we have to be there, Officers, before 7:00 or 7:15 I guess.. IThen.. My alarmwent On, and I turned it Off.. But I did not get up still.. Antok pA akO e.. Bakit bA?! Ahihihi!! I went back to sleep.. Then when I woke up, it's already 6am.. What the heck! I hurried up, afraid to be late. Waaaaaaah!! I hate my pAnts.. Bitin kasi e.. T-T inaway pa kO ni kuyA.. Waaaaaah!! T-T Anyways, when we were there, wala lang... Pero nung nag-umpisa nA.. iba nA... Wahahahaha!!^_^ Di naman kaMi naging malupit e.. Ewan kO.. Paran di ko kasi kayang pagmalupitan or supladahan mgA classmates kO eh.. Pero, kelangan na talaga. Uhm.. from what my friends told mE, Steph was really firm and strict. And TAraY mO pAre!!Wahahaha!! Grabe.. Anyways...

I did not attend practice for a while muna. Sumakit bigla ulo kO and I'm really sleepy and tired.. Tired standing for almost four hours, and haven't eaten any snacks, or just even water. Waaaaaah!! Basta.. Pero enjoy naman talaga.. Next Saturday, we're gonna teach them new stuffs.. Nyahahaha!!^_^ Bahala nA...

New Responsibilities.. New Opportunities..

2005-07-02T19:00:00.000+08:00

Well.. It's Saturday today and, It's our first day of CAT classes. Ahihihihi!! I woke up past 6:30 this morning, cuZ I thought I was gonna be late. Whew!! I slept a little more and woke up by 7;00, and finished fixing myself and everything at xactle 8am in our clock. Ahahahaha!! I was actually afraid and did not want to go but, it's a part of the academics, sO.. No choice. Sir Leomar is our CAT commandant. Fear is what I felt, until we started our orientation. He's not really that fearsome guy. Kalog din siya and mahilig magbiro. Ahihihi!! He says jOkes mOst of the time. He's just like Kuya Rye, our guitarist.^-^ The similar thing I saw between these two leaders is this line, "Basta suotin nyo kahit anong kulay basta 'white'!", and, "Sometimes kelangan din natin magpatawa, pero kapag seryoso na ako, maseryoso na." Then niloloko pa nya kaming kasize nya!! wahaahahaha!! No offensement for me, e kasi totoo naman! waaaaah!! Then we discussed the grading system, requirements, attir, etc. After that, the fear I felt at first was gone. I think I actually gained respect from him-I think. cuz there really is nothing to fear. Just respect.^-^ He was really uh.. Mabait. di naman siya nagalit sa'min, except nung kay Neal. di naman siya magagalit ng walan rason da bA?^-^ Maluwang sya sa'ming mga officers.^-^ Ahihihi!! Basta.. I think I'm gonna like CAT..^-^

Well.. temporary officers were already appointed. That includes me of cOurse..T-T At first I really don't feel like being one, but it was a dream of mine a long time ago, because of my big bro, and I was afraid that the class won't follow me...T-T But I guess, it's a challenge for me then.^-^ Our battalion commander is Yanni; executive-officer: Deb; recorder:Caloy; Comp.troller:Eka; Company Leader/commander Alpha: Steph and me; Company Leader/commander Bravo: Mico and Faith; Platoon Leaders: Shen, Pie, ramil and Sal. The platoon leaders are th ones holding the cadets. Kinakatakutan ang mga taong ito. Ahehehehe..^-^ It was really fun. I enjoyed it very much. Now, all I gotta do is do my best with my responsibilities, and have self-discipline and respect on me and on others. Sigh.. May God help me. Ayoko naman matanggal sa posisyon ko no. So, I guess I'll do my best then.^-^ I just hope the cadets will respect us and cooperate tOo.. haaaay...

Hay nAku.. I was just asked to have a try-out on basketball varsity girls. What the hecK?! matangkad daw kasi akO. But I really don't know how to play basketball.. Do th right thing. All I know is to shoot the ball. Ahehehehe!! But, I guess I'll just try. Hindi ako magalin, hindi ako marunong, but I'll try. Exercis na rin para sa'kin yOn. Bwahahaha!! Anyways.. Bahala na..

what a day.. So tiring.. But hey! It was fun.. Good luck for me and the batch for the rest of the days!!^-^ Humanda kayo sa mga papagawa namin sa inyO!! Bwahahahaha!! Joke lang...^-^

What a week!!

2005-07-01T20:02:00.000+08:00

Okay.. so.. It's already July one.. And.. June's over now. What's up for mE? Well.. Nothing special... Seeesh... One more month to go before my BESprEn leaves.. T-T My gulay.. I dun want to talk bout it... Seeesh... Been busy, busy busy.. Sigh.. Havin' a hard timE actually.. Hmm..

Too much stress.. Just got a massage minutes aO.. Grabe lagatok ng mga buto ko sa likod!! Ahehehe!! Anyways, it was gOOd.. Hmmm.. sO GoOd!!

Yeah!! Okay fine I'll Stop...

2005-06-26T21:10:00.000+08:00

Bwahahahahaha!! What?!^-^ Today's my mum's birthday.. HAPPY BDAY MAMA!! Wahahahahaha!! Anyways..

I attended practice yesterday but it took us only a fewer hours. Then Lois invited me to go sing videoke in thir house. And I did.. Pahiya-hiya effect pa akO!! Bwahahahaha!! Anyways, it was fun cuZ.. Kahit papano may nakuha akong mataas na score. My highest was 98!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ahm sO prOud!! And takE nOte: I still have colds then.. Bwahahahahaha!! Pero syempre may mababa rin akO.. Masmarami nga yung low scores e.. Pero oKay LAng..^-^

Anyway, I'm downloading Lots oF music.. But it takes me a long time to download one sOng.. Sigh.. Waaaaaaaah!!! And Jade also sends me sOngs. And guess what? She sent me a record of their voices.. her sister and hers.. WAAAAAAAAAH!! They sinG like sHet!! Anyway, It's for the sAke of fuN. ANg kulit nga nila e.. They made me LAugh hArd, the peeps in the hous think I'm crazy cUz they dunNo what I was laughing at.. Wahahahahaha!! Anyway, Jade!! Next timE, yung serious naman hA!! With your baNd para masaya..^-^

I composed something.. You know, it just came into my mind and vwala!! It' donE.. Just one night. It was just the lyrics... No tonE yet. I need some assistance with that of course.. And I need someone to dit some of the lines cuZ I'm not good at grammar.. Wahahahaha... to whom the song is dedicated tO? Aw.. You know whO..^-^

Anyways.. I wanna get things dOne immediately. Got so many things to do.. Sigh.. Haven't passed my application, still. Stupid mE.. I was thinking of not applying anymOre.. But on the other hand I still want to try.. I just hope I can do something to rush it, and if my mom agrees for me to go to U.P. myself. Seeeeesh.. I wanna se the school anyway.

I ate too much I think.. Seeeesh..

What the...?!

2005-06-24T19:58:00.000+08:00

Oh well.. this had been a very busy school week for us.. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! What now? I dunno... Uh..

There's too much work for the past days.. So many homeworks.. And don't forget the practice for the integration of the freshmen.. Sigh. very busy week... And now I got colds.. very bad colds.. seeeeeesh... Just got a massage.. whew!! Says my back was really cold.. And so was my head, and my shoulder, my neck.. Sigh.. RIght now I feel heat on my back.. It feels nice.. hAAAAAAAAAy... ^-^ This colds bothered me a lot.. I would feel irritated easily cuZ of my runny nose, watery eyes.. And I sneeze 3-8 times rapidly.. sunud-sunod.. Haaaaay...

Anyways, today was the integration. Well... we did our best to perform our best, and I guess it did us good cuz we won best in Presentation. Nyahahahaha!! Wala pang masyadong practice yun.. Well.. I was a bit bad trip during the integration cuZ.. You see.. Last night, I asked my besprEn to cOme watch the integration, and she said yes.. And all throughout the program I was waiting for her.. I kept glancing by the volleyball court to see if she would pass by, or in the highschool lobby, thinking she might be watching from there.. Sigh... But she did not came... Ayan nabadtrip tuloy akO... I told myself that I should not think about negatives.. But I can't just avoid it.. And I wanna cry cuz she said she'll come but she didn't.. Waaaaaaaaaah!!T-T And then when it was chowtime.. I'm sitting with my friends, and with che2 and Jam.. Who are also NEOS.. Then it just came into my mind that Anu ba yan ngayon pa kami hindi naing kumpleto and if only if shE was here, we would be complete.. And tears just.. Errr.. seeesh... Anyways.. When I got home, minutes after, she called and explained why she wasn't able to come. I was silent aat first cuZ I did felt pissed.. But it was okay since she called anyway...^-^

What else? Oh yeah.. Stupid me.. I was not able to pass my U.P. form on the deadline.. Well.. Stupid mE.. But I'll figure it out.. I just hopE mom would help me.. Errr...

I miss someonE.. Besides my bESpreN of cOurse, whom I really really miss sO much... AAAAAAAARgh!! Whatever!! If only.. gRRRRRR...-_-

Anyways.. I wanna go to the mall cuZ I need to buy something-sOMethingS... Hehehe.. It's a surprise.. You'll find out soOn..^-^

2005-06-21T22:45:00.000+08:00

My gulay.. I'm having troubles riht nOw. I'm applying for U.P., but I still haven't filled up my application yET!! The problem is, I dunnO what course to take, If ever I made my choice I'm afraid my Mum wouldn't like it, and.. I'm afraid to fail on the course I wanna takE uP!! wAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! I dunNo what tO dOOO!! ahm confuseD!! I really want to tak up visual communication.. But I dunNo if I can pass in th first plAce... And in Fine Arts, one needs a talent teSt.. I dunNo either if I can pAss the taLEnt tESt!! DAmn!! Oh God, pleAse help mE!!!!!

These days, school has kept me a little busy.. I'm doing homeworks already when I get home from schoOL.. yahahaha!! Maybe I'll study then after.. I really need to make a progress this year.. wAAAAAAAAH!!!!

School still reminds me of my deAresT bESpren, jAde.. She's my bestest buD... Yesterday, we had our flag ceremony.. And it reminded me of her.. T-T we used tO.. sinG Out Loud( but not that loud.. enough to hear by the peeps near us..) the nAtional Anthem, and the school hymn.. Then we'll laugh later oN.. and I used to borrow her comb while w're falling in line... Then when we go uP.. She's still talking about a lot of stuff... Then th LOCkers.. They reminded me of hOw Messy JAde iS.. Sh was my lockermate before... Then I'd helpher get her things tOo.. T-T Namimiss ko na yung bruhang yOn...

What else? The highschool integration.. Gives us pressure too.. cuz we're going to have this presentation.. shucks... Seeeeeeesh... Well anyways... Just enjoy it with the freshmen..

Love? No.. I have no time for LOvelifE right now.. Very busy.. seeeesh...

Tiring day.. sigh..

School Life..

2005-06-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

Ei there.. Has it been a week already? Whatever.. First week of school, and I feel sOOOOOO piSsed.. Hell.. There's so much wOrk to do.. Homeworks, covering the books and notbooks with plastic cover.. and w still had practices every night. My gOoDnEss!! And I would sleep by 11 or past twelve, and my work's still unfinished. And i don't like Our sched.. I'd spend three hOurs and 50 minutes befOre OUr LUnch.. WHAt the hEck!!!?!?!?!?!! And Besides the homeworks and stuff, I really need to study.. Oh, well.. I'll just do the rest on weekends.. I feel so tired, and I really miss my bEspreN Jade.. I miss those times when we meet in the morning, we do oUr own shaKe hAnds, then we would talk while we pass on the way to Our rOonm, then get oUr thinGs in Our LOcker. I miss it when we would eat fish ball at the canteen, leaving our trash on the table, and going out on the entrance dOor instead of the exit.. And during Lunch.. taLk about stuff.. THen on the way to the CR she would sing me her rOck sOngs.. When we talk while brushing our teeth yet we understand what we say, and when we wash our face, she would wipe her face with her skirt... Then I lend her a towel and smaCk it on hEr face.. When I aSk her to keep quiet or stOp whatever she dOes siLLy or Crazy thingS and she sAys, "NO!!"... Whenever she asks me to play ragna, yet I'd say nO... sigH.. I miss her a LOt... -_- Oh well.. We'll see each other sOon? Won't we? We just got tO...-_-

But I still have my friends with me..^__^ Hehehe...

AhM... weLL.. I dunnO...

2005-06-12T22:26:00.000+08:00

I woke up 30-40 minutes before seven by my mom, feeling pissed off. I still got a hangover from my... uh... well... whatever it is, it's nO big deal I guess. It's just me who's making a big deal out of it.. Anyways... I went to mAss still stressed out.. I did nOt greet any peeps aRound.. even my chOirmatEs... hELL... Then we went hOme after mAss. I finally smiled at last. I was thinking about a lot of things these past few days that's why. I kept myself busy all day in front of my PC, dOing stuffs on the internet. Well, that's me.. Then I had a chat with my friends.. Then Jam called up and told me this story.. Nyahahahahahahahaha!!! Guess whose story is thAt?^__^ No, not Jam's!! From an unexpected writer!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh!! I an say no more or else, someone's gonna kill someone, or even mE!! WEll.. that's all..^__^

2005-06-10T21:08:00.000+08:00

Back to SchoOL.. But...-_-

Ahm brOke.. SaD.. piSseD..

2005-06-10T21:00:00.000+08:00

Classes already started. I woke early in the morning, feeling a little pissed off, sAd and at the same time, excited. It's not thAt I hate to go to school (well, eventhough sometimes I do feel like hating it).. It's just that.. I'm not going to be with all the people whOm I wanna be with for the last time in DLA as classmates... I miss them already.. Jam, Che2, my Baby Bear Allan, Mama Nau, Kuya TJ, Shen, Pie, and most of all, Jade.T-T I just hOpe I can enjoy this whole year..T-T But at least I have my dearest Buddy with me (I miSs this gAL.. so much), Kang2 (my Dearest kinakapatid), Tere (ever loyal..funny PreN)... Sigh..-_- I guess it was really meant to be like this... Whatever's happenin' around here.. I know God has reasons why.. And they have to be gOod enough of cOurse.. Sigh...

Hell.. I just wanna die right nOw.. I'm sick and tired of... Seeeesh.. I just wish someone would just snap out of me.. dead...

Oh, boy...

2005-06-09T21:10:00.000+08:00

Hi... Today's Thursday, meaning, it's gonna be Friday tomorrow, which is the start of OUr cLAss, and.. it just SucKs!! Why? Cuz I haTE my sectiOn.. I mean, mOst peeps whO's iN it, I havE to wAKe uP eArLy agaiN, I'm not classmates with Jam and Che, anD.. ... Jade's nOt cominG to schOoL anymOre... T-T WEll, she's.. she's leaving already.. On aUgusT...T-T sO early.. wAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! My bESpreN's leavin' mEEEEEEEEEEE!!! T-T Jade told me.. yesterday.. I mean, before I slept cuz, we were chattin' and it's already past 12, so... You know what I mean..-_- I was like.. crying for.. almost an hOur when she told me the news..T-T wAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! I'm gonna miss her.. sO muCh..T-T Ngaun pa lang namimiss kO na siyA..T-T siGh.. I thought we'd still be together for one more year..Well, nOt anymore. T-T wHo's gonna sing roCk sonGs while walking with me? whO's gonna sit with me during lunch, talking abOut her bOyfriend? Who will I follow when going to the CR? Who's gonna talk like spongebobe tO mE?T-T (I guess I was Patrick.. I Love PatricK stAR!!) When will I see someone wearing aLL bLaCk, hair untied and straight, and when I see her, says, "Uy, JO!!", or "Dude!!", or, "rOcK On!!"? T-T AAAAAAAAAw... T-T

Yeah.. I'll miss her sO muCh.. T-T No One's evEr gOnna rePLacE hEr..T-T

I wanna cry.. T-T

2005-06-08T23:33:00.000+08:00

iyAk na kO....

wAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Ay Ewan!!

2005-06-07T22:32:00.000+08:00

Damn!! Why is everyday like a living hELL?!?!?!! Aaaaaaaaaaargh!! ... ... ... ... ... Okay I'll stop exaggerating thingS. It's not really likE hell you know. I just.. don't like this day.

Mom woke me up past 8:30 am in the morning.. PUyaT akO in fairness. I slept past 2am in the morning so I just slept for six hours mahigit.. We're oing to Greenhills to buy me new sneakers/rubber shoes. KainiZ!! Sinabihan pala niya akO kahapon, ei hindi ko narinig kasi I'm WEArinG my HEADphONEs and I'm listeninG in A verY hiGh vOLumE!!! Aaaaargh!! Dammit... ANyways.. I wasn't able to buy the shoes I want. The brand was already facd out. GReAt.. Seeesh.. SO I just bought something else... HELL!! Then we went to Baclaran to buy me new sAndo's... TAPos, inabot kami ng siyam2!! Ay, dammit!! PANO BA NAMAN KASI, BUMILI PA NG HALAMAN, NG PRUTAS, N KUN ANU-ANO NA HINDI NAMAN PLANADOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! It was really getting hOt na. It's already past twelve na kasi. Before we went to Baclaran, we ate at Jollibee first. I didn't eat breakfast so I was really hungry. Anyways, nakakainis talaga!! Ei naiinis na talaga akO because of all the people around, and I'm carrying a heavy plastic bag and my bag with me which also heavy, and It's really hoT and I'm wearing black, and my feet already hurts with all the walking around.. Seesh!! I was rally irritated na talaga, I want to go back to the car already. Tapos sabihan ba akO, "Sasama-sama ka pa kAsi e.." AY, SHIT NAMAN O!! BULLSHIT TALAGA!! Kainis.. Pano naman akO hindi sasama e akO nga yunG bibilhaN!! Siya rin NaMan nagYaya sa'kiN na pumunta ng GreenhiLLs!! MaLay kO Ba NA Pupunta pa ng BAcLAraN at bibili din ng mga kung anu-anO!! Ei wala rin naman sa plano niLA yOn!! SHit talaga.. akO pa anG... seeeeeeeeeeeeesh!! And it doesn't stop there. When we got home, I changed my clothes first, pambahay, then went to the chapel cuZ we have practice. I am officially LAte for an hOur and a haLf. GReat... ANd there goeS my brOther agAin.. KAiniz talaga... Nananahimik na ngA akO duN e!! Well, nUng unA inasar kO siya kOnti. Napilayan kASi.. Haha!! AnyWay, yUn.. AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! BAKET BAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?!?!! WALA NA BA AKONG KARAPATANG MANG-ASAR hAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?!?!! PARA NAMANG SIYA PAG NANG-AASAR... KainiZ... aNU bAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?!?!! If it wasn't a crime to kiLL, I must have killed him.. all of them a long timE agO!! Dammit... ... Bwiset talaga!! Dumagdag pa tOng isang tao na tO... Bwiset taLagA... KainiZ... SA sobrang inis kO nasabi ko tuloy, "tigilan mo ko kung ayaw mOng may sabihiN akO.." I knew something about something with him... NakakainiS talaga.. pandagdag bad triP!! BwiseT!! They were quiet when I said that.. and after a while I hear whispers and mumbling from them. I don't know if they were talking about me.. I don't cAre.. HELL I dOn't cAre, daMmit!! Pwede bA... Leave me at peaCe you gOd-damMits!! Wala naman akOng ginagawan masama sa inyO hA?!?!?!! Wala akOng ginagawAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Mga Shit kayO... ... yOU don't knoW mE... yOu don't even cAre, dammit!!! And yOu wouldn't understand... hell nO... I want to cry right now but I can't.. Maybe later.. when evryone's already sleeping... oh, LoOk!! Look how many bad wOrds I've said.. Ehehehe.. *sniff*

Sorry about that.. Got carried away.. Oh, well...

Oh weLL..

2005-06-06T22:04:00.000+08:00

Hi.. Well, just an ordinary day.. Well, I was kind of excited early in the morning, cuZ me and my buds were supposed to go to school to look for our class sections.. Well, the plan was cancelled and was moved on Wednesday. Oh, well.. But I still went to school anyway to check it out. I went with my mom cuZ we're gonna by new jogging pants and P.E.. Ehehehe!! I saw a few students there, but I really don't mind... Then I watched movies kuya Kevs lent me.. HEad of STate starring Chris Rock.. TRhis movie is coOL.. FunnY and Humorous I gueSs..^__^ Then I watched 13 Going on 30 and Freaky Friday.. AAAaaw!! Very niCe moviEs!! I love 'em aLL.. And I can't deny that I cried.. But I did not sOb.. Just.. a few tears.. Ehehehe!!^__^ I understand how they feel.. Okay, whatever..^__^

Ah, Dammit!! my brother just really sUCks!! HE REALLY SUCK!! Such a JERk!! PAKIALAMEROOOOOOOOOO!!! He's a totaL BULLSHIT!! yOU HEAr mEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!!?!!?!! YOU'RE A TOTAL BULLSHIT YOU GOD-DAMN SON OF A.. HeLL.. sOrry.. I was kind of carried away.. GRRRRRRRRRRR!! I just wanna punch or kick someone or something.. HeLL.. I wish I could just kill theM, but I can't. I'm afraiD to.. heLL.. You knoW... I.. seesh!! If only I have elemental or superpowers like fiRe or something, I must have burnEd all of 'eM to deAth.. Yeah.. sOme eviL thinG yOu knOw.. And then I'd be left alone and feel lonely.. aW shucks!! I don't think I can breathe again, Amy!! I'm broken shiT.. Ahahaha.. I'm listening to musiC.. My fAve music, BROken by Seether featuring Amy Lee. I love this sOng cuZ, I do feEL the paiN.. I wanna let it ouT but I can't.. I dunnO.. I really don't understand myself.. seesh... I really don't. I just wish I could disappear in just a wink of an eye, go somewhere else where no one can bother me.. Or maybe someone can just takE the hELL liFe ouT of mE.. hELL... Maybe when schoOL starts I could feel a little freedom and fUn again.. sigh.. ah, dammit!! But.. ah shit!! Now, I'm confused.. I just wanna scream.. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! Seeesh!! Change topic..

Hey, I got a new crush.. I sort of hate it I mean, what I feel just a while ago with this crush.. It just came in.. I find him cuTe, gorgeous, whatever.. He's an actor.. ye knoW.. Chad Michael Murray.. Aw, dammit!! Can't stop thinking about it!! hELL!! Someone get him off my heAd!! T__T What about my dear Orlando Bloom?T__T WAAAAAAH!! OKay, stop dreaming, aeriad you're already looking stupid.. Alright.. Hell.. On the other hand, I might actually forget this other crush of mine.. But.. AAAAAAAAAARGH!! Just think of something else!!

I know I'm a psycho, but don't think of it as negative. I'm like this, and so whAt? o_O Just leave... I.. I'm not myself.. again...

HeY..

2005-06-05T19:10:00.000+08:00

O-kAY.. what a daY!! Hey, just got a new haircut todaY!! isn't it great?! Ehehehe!! I cute my hair shorter.. still layered.. V-cut.. It's still is the usual short haircut I do to my hair. AS usual, mukha akong lalake.. Nyahaha!! Nagpa-hair spa nga lang ako.. Nyahaha!! Kung anu-anong kaartehan. Oi, minsan na nga lang ako maging kikAy e!! I also got my fingernails french tipped. Class starts on Friday this week, so I still have remaining days to enjoy my long fingernails. Sayang naman nO!! Buong bakasyon ko pinahaba tO e!! ehehehe!! Anyways, we don't have practice tomorrow. I'm glad. Nyahahaha!!^__^ Maricar's going to school to check out if we could already reserve lockers... Ehehehe..

Well, that would be all..^__^

2005-06-04T00:12:00.000+08:00

Me anD my Buds..

NEOS ROCKS!!

Ei.. day Off fOr mE!!

2005-06-03T22:15:00.000+08:00

Yeah, just got a day off.. Hahaha!! I didn't practiced today.. Well.. ^__^ I went with my mom to Makati.. We went to BPI then to Landmark, bought a few thingiEs.. Then we went to RFC. We bought school supplies, again. Kulang kasi yung nung una kaminG bumili..Tapos namalengke sa Supermarket. Then we went hOme nA... I was actually tired. And I feel quite pissed off. Sabi kasi ni mama papagupit akO and pa-hot oil, di naman natuLoy!! Kainis!! parati namang ganyan e!! well anyways, when we got home, practice is still not finished. I did not go anyway. tinatamad akO .. Wahahaha!!! EviL mE.. Pero matatapos na rin naman sila e.. Why bother? Then, Ate Debs and company arrived. Wala lang. Makikigulo!!^__^ We watched DVD.. the movie, ROBOTS.. Grabe!! Tawa kami ng tawa!!^__^ Robin Williams was sOOOOO dAmn gOoD!! Galing pa rin magpatawa!!^__^ Then, after watching.. Wala na.. My usual routine.. watch TV, internet.. Ahahaha!! I'm chatting with Jade right nOw.. My ultimaTe BesPREn in Da wOrLd!!^__^ And we're making doLLs tOo.. Kaka-adiK talaGa..^__^

Well, that's all for toDay.. ^__^

Oh, Boy!

2005-06-02T20:10:00.000+08:00

Sigh.. What a dAY!! Well, I just thought we're not gonna have practice this day, but I was wronG. ulat nalan akO nang daanan kami ni Kuya Tabog dito sa House to fetch us. Ay, dammit!! I was surfing on the internet when he and the others arrived. I have to leave at once.. Yeah.. And in doing sO, I ditched my BEspRenS whO's online.. Ay bwiset!! We rode on to Tita Madie's hOuse.. Only the OriginaL members were there, cuZ only the original/seniors are supposed to. Well, the practie did not take that long. Well, Ehehehe!! Nah... Kuya Spongy's just tired and all from work. but it's a good thing we finished early.^__^ And for merinda, tita madz cooked homemade siopao foR uS.. YaM-yAm!!! Ehehehe!! ANg SAraP!! Ehehehehe!!^__^ Then, dismissed. Actually, I have nothin left to do sO.. Am jusT typinG wordS here..

I wanna go out.. go somewhere.. mom's going to Makati tomorrow.. I'm going with her!! Ehehehehe!!^__^ Gusto kO naman lumabaS nOOOOOOOOO!! Ay nAku!! I wanna go out.. And not just go ouT.. I wanna buy my new sneaker, new shirts, new everything!! I wanna get my hair doNe!! I wanna play bowling!! I wanna watch movies!! Ah, dammit!! I just hoPe we have money to do all those things... T-T Oh well...

ChArmed uS..

2005-06-02T20:04:00.000+08:00

NEOS.. CHARMED

Oh.. mE..

2005-06-01T21:21:00.000+08:00

Yeah, like, What thE hELL?! I just finished fixing my bLog at Last!!^__^ It took me almost half of the dAy? Nah.. Not that muCh.. Past six hours in the process.. And my eyes are really tired. I just changed my blog's skin and I have to fix everything else. Anyways, I enjoyed it. Uh.. The rest of the hours are well, the usual things I do. I had practice again this afternOon.. We sang Happy Birthday to Patricia. Her birthday's on Friday but she's celebrating today cuZ they would be flying to Singapore. Isn't that nicE?^__^ Anyways, it wasn't that much tiring unlike the other practices before.. Besides the practice, I answered quizzes here in the internet.. ye knoW.. about yourself and everything... Uh.. some results about me were true, and some, I don't think so.. I don't even know myself. I'm wuite confused. I feel somwhat happy yet depressed at the same timE.. feeling alone.. Falling.. I don't knoW.. I know I'm a psycho.. And I wish someone would save me out there. Sigh.. Yeah.. Oh, what the hELL!!!! Aaaaaaaaargh!! Change topic..

Yestreday, I just tried my uniform oN.. Hah!! My blouse stiLL fits!! I'm gLad. But I really need to reduce.. Sigh.. aaaaaargh!! My skirts need some adjustments to fit. Sigh.. If only I wasn't born dArn Lazy.. Seeesh.. I didn't eat dinner/supper today. Yeah.. Because the rest didn't want tO.. Sigh.. I'll just drink water and Sky flakes.. Maybe go out for a jogging tomorrow? I don't know if I can do thAt.. Sigh.. DAmmiT!! Oh well, change topic...

I'm really excited now to go back to school.. Well, just because I'd get to see my Peers again..^__6 And don't forget the allowance!! Haha!!^__^ Yet.. I don't want still... Aaaaaaaaaargh!! I thought the lists of sections were already out posted, but I guess nOt.. I wish that Jade and I are still classmates.. T-T sigh..On JunE 10.. Some thingS will chAnge.. My daily routine that is.. Heck!! Anyways, I hope everything goes well for the rest of the days..

Aw.. Dammit!!

2005-05-30T20:12:00.000+08:00

Damn!! I hate this Day!! I have my allergy agaiN!! Damn!! Stupid Runny nOSe.. grrrrrrr.. Anyway, we had practice again at Tita MadZ.. Senior choiRs supposEd to bE.. Well anyways, we just listened to a song we need to learn and practice for next, next weeks I guess. It was a hard soNg.. Sigh.. But I believe we can do it.. Aja, aja fightinG ma choirabLes!! Anyways, pinagsabihan kami ni Tita Nancy, our suPerioRneSs chuvaneSs..^__^ It was about cOurting among our choirmates. Yeah.. No courting allowed, or eLse yOu're ouT.. Anyways, I'm ouT with that subject matter.. No one's courting me who's a member of the chOir anyway. Haha!! Lagot yUng mgA bOys nyAAAAAAN!! Kasi eh.. Ehehehe.. Anyways, not just about cOurting.. about competition among the new and the original choir members I guess... OkAy, so I'm kind oF "iN" on that subject matter.. It's not really about competition fOr me.. It's just thAT.. Anu bA.. Malakas lang talaga bOses kO? AY ewAn!! I did not think of it that wAy.. I just want to sing, that's all... Well anyways.. Change topic..

Yesterday, I went to Robinsons Manila with Ate KAt and her parents, Tita det and Tito Ed. Ate Krizel was supposed to come with us too.. Kaya lang, nakOw!! NaiwaN!! ANg guLo kAsi E!! If she were able to come, MAsmasaya sana.. Sigh.. Anyways, we played bowling, then we watched a movie. Bowling was really fuN!! Hahaha!! Though my ball always roll in the canal many timEs.. and my score was only 46 points. Haha!! I'm really not that athletic yOu knoW. But I still enjoyed playing. Ehehehe!!^__^ I'll go play agaiN, with my mOm!!^__^ She used to play bowling with her officemates years agO. Nyahahaha!!^__^ I guess I got hooked up!! Anyways, Ate Kat and I watched House of Wax, while tita and tito watched la Visa Loca. It was cold inside the theatre house as usual.. ehehehe!!^__^ We had fries, burger and rootbeer. Grabe.. Ang kulit namin sa LooB.. Ang ingaY pA.. The movie was.. ... Ew!! GroSs!! But NicE.. Hehehe!! Try to watch it.. Nyahahaha!! Si Ate Kat tsaka akO maingAy na because of the tensiOn.. Ang kuLit!! Nakatabing na kamay namin sa mata nAmin.. Pero yung tipOng nakakasilip ka pAAAaa!! Nyahahaha!! Basta aNg kuLit tAlagA!! After the movie, we ate at Karate Kid.. A Japanese restaurant chuvanes.. Actualy, first time kong kumain ng Japanese fOod... ehehehe!! the food was.. MatabAnG? Ayos lan.. lahat naman kinakain kO e.. Then we went hOme nA.. tita Det ang kulit E.. Baka raw kasi makatulo si Tito while driving.. One of tito's talents.. hehehe!! Kulit nO?^__^ I had fun.. Pero masmasaya pagkasama si Ate Kriz.. or si Mama..^__^ Anyways.. It was a nice dAy..

Tomorrow, we'll have practice again.. Sigh.. I hope everything goes well...

Singing in Pag-asa..

2005-05-28T22:43:00.000+08:00

Waw!! Ehehehehe!! One of my wishes just came truE.. Hours ago, we performed/sang in Sto. NinO Church in Pag-asa.. Nyhahahaha!!^__^ It was a big accomplishment of course for our choir!!^__^ Before that, 4:00pm, we practiced in our chapel.. run all the songs we're gonna sing. I was actually nervous/excited cuZ I'm praying for this after we sang in Macaria...^__^ I'm so Happy!! Anyways, we ate merienda after that. We ate at our houSe.. The house was very full.. Ehehehe.. But it wasn't hot cuZ it rainEd.^__^ Then after that.. We're on our way to the Church... Tension's getting higher by the time we arrived. I looked around when we went inside. The people were praying.. We walked quietly upstairs to the.. I don't know what it's called.. Ehehehe!!^__^ Basta duN sa may upuan ng choir sa taas.. It was high, and I can see the people from up there.. Then I saw my PrenS.. I saw Jam, Mama Nau and Steph.. They just came in..^__^ And they saw me from my place. They were wavin at me.. Nyahahaha!! My frieNds were there!! Ang saya-saya!! I also saw my Baby Bear, Allan, but I guess he didn't see mE.. But it's alright.^__^ I'd finally get to shOw the ouTcoMe of all my sacrifices to my PrEns.. I just hOpe they were proud of mE.. Singing up there really ave me a headache.. Damn!! I already drank Biogesic pero wa epek!! KainiZ naman taLaGaAAAAAAA!! Grrrrrrrrrr!! Anyways.. I still continued to sing with my choirmates.. Nyahahaha!!^__^ Sigh... till the nd of Mass, my head still aches. But it's alright.. Ehehehehe!! Singing's really tiring, my goodnEss!! But it was really fun...^__^ Waaaaaaaaaah!! Ehehehe.. I thought our voice wasn't loud enough and wasn't good, but mama said it was okAy.. AnywayS.. They said we did great. With that, I feel great!!^__^ Despite the headache of course..

I did not see what I was looking for that dAY.. I was kind of, pissed... ...was the only one I was waiting fOr.. ... but wasn't there... Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!! Change tOpic!!

I hope more opportunities will come to uS.. And improve mOre.. Sigh.. Oh well, that's all for todAy..

Oh, well...

2005-05-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

What? There's nothing to do in the house today.. I have my allergy again.. It's because of today's heat.. It's really HOT... Good thing it rained this afternoon. My nose isn't quite runny anymore.. It's my uh.. forever, daily sickness and all I can do to et rid of it is to sleep and drink medicine. Sigh..

Anyway, we had practice- an emergency practice - just this afternoon. Good thing we finished by 4:00pm.. I really need to sleep. But I didn't when I got home cuZ I got a bwisitOr..Ah,dammit!! She's just a kid anyway.. Actually, she was disturbing me since this morning. I don't want any visitors in my houSe this day cuZ I'm not feeling well.. Anyway, she did come... Nothing interesting doNe.. SIgh... Anyway, the practice was fast.. New sOngs, or should I say, a newer versioN of sonGs.. We practice cuZ we might sing in Sto. Nino de Molino Church inPag-asa this coming SAturday.. I just hope we WILL.. Cuz it's a dream come true for me... I wished to sing in our Parish church... Besides that, we're the ones who's gonna offer the flowers for Mama Mary, I guess. Yey!! I rally want to come to Pag-asa... So I can hear mass with my friends ANd... Ehehehehehe!! Never mind...^__^

Oh well, nothing to say anymore...

Cents.. Coins in my wAllet...

2005-05-22T23:01:00.000+08:00

What the hell.. I just came from Festival mAll.. Sigh... kakapagod maglakaD!!! grabe!!

Uh.. kaninang mass, the officers from the PYM came over t TOwn and Country.. Wala lang.. About yOuth dAw..Sigh.. It was a little fun though.. Ang nakilala ko lang don was kuya Angelo.. Sigh.. We talked about sumthings nga about youth activities sa PAg-asa, mga kung anu-ano pa.. Sigh... Basta para sa kabataan.. TO have morE bOnding rAw.. Well, we did had a bonding session..(",) Anyways, I ayun nga, nagkayayaan na pumunta ng Festival.. ANg dami namin as in ANG DAMI!! Grabe!! suPer!! Pro kulang pa kami. Marc wasn't there.. He's the only one missing sa mga boYs namin. Sa'min naman, the other guRLz, and tita Nancy and tita MADz.. We did had fun.. wala akOng ginawa kundi maglakad ng maglakad.. HAaaaaaay.. We went to Pixie FOrest, nag-arcade, Then nagpapicture kami sa Photo Line.. Our pictures were all cute.. sYemprE, cuTe din akO!!! Nyahahaha...(~',) ChinG!!! Then Ate DEbs, DivinE and I ate at KFC.. I only ate Funshots, fries and sprite.. Diet.. whAt's that wOrd? Nyahahahaha!!!! JokE Lang pO!! Basta.. Pinakagusto ko dun was our picture-taking... Actually, we did a lot of poses, kasi dalawang P99 yun.. Ei 23 kami.. 12 shOts yuN.. Tig-isa lang kami.. kaya paparecopy namin yung pictures para masaya.. Syempre gusto ko rin na may copy lahat ng pix na kinuha namin nO.. And we're planning to make a scrapbook of the choir.. Ehehehe.. Para masaya.. nO? Grabe halos hindi na kami makahinga sa loob nung studio sa sobrang dami.. Nakakainis din kasi panay kami antayan n antayan di na alam kung asan na yun ibA!!! Hirap din pagmarami nO? Then bago umuwi, uhaw na uhaw na kO, I want to buy drinkS na.. Ei.... Grrrrrrr!! Kainis.. Bumili kami sa Wendy's... I was supposed to order COKE biggie siZe, TAKe OUt.. Ei yunG binigay pala sa'min, ICED TEAAA!!! TAMA BA yON!! Grrrrrrrr!! Bingi!! Pero pinabayaan kO nalang.. Pagod na kasi akO e... I just wanted to drinK.. Basta makainOm.. Pasalamat sila pagod na kami and papauwi na.. Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!

At the end of the day, I only have P50+ left in my wallet... AGAin... Mom gave mE two hundred buCks.. sigh.. And wala man lang akoNg nabili na anything for me.. Wa perA e.. ANG HIRAP NG WALANG PERA DAMMIT!!! Anyway, I still enjoyed.. Kahit na papaano and pagod...

Sa sasakyan pauwi, katabi kO si kuya KOng.. gawin bA kOng unAN?!?!?!!! Tama ba yOn!! Anyway, anO pang silbi ng matataba kOng braso kung pwede naman siyang gawinG unAn.. Anyway, I'm used to it.. Kahit ng likod kO tinutulugan na riN nila e..Malambot ba likOd kO? Hmmm... Ibang klase.. Anyway, Basta... Sana lang everything goes well sa mga susunod na arAw...

Until next timE...

Me mOody... Aaaaaargh!!

2005-05-21T22:42:00.000+08:00

Great!! I hate this day!! I HATE this MOTHER-F****** dAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! Sigh, dammit!!! Wala lang...

I attended this party which I'm not supposed to attend to...Just because mom's not coming along... HELL!! It was Mig's birthday (happy birhtday Migs!!!).. Kasabay ko sila ate debs and Kuya Ryan-Custodio. Then we went home and watchEd moVies in my HousE.. Then by six, practice na namin... Nainis nga akO e, bwiset!! Kasi it was supposed to be at Clarisse's house. Ei yun pala they didn't know na sa kanila... We were waiting outside their house, nakasakay sa sasakyan nila kuya Tabog as the rain pours doWn.. That's why we moved nalang sa chapel.. Then, basta!! NAbabanas na aKo!! Kaininis na practicE!! Kelangan pa kasi ipractice yung "He" na song. Ei nagkakandagulo kami sa tono, sa tempo.. Haaaaaaay!!! AAAAAAAAAAArgh!!! Nawalan na kO ng gana... Medyo pagod din kasi akO ng onti... Bwiset..HELL!! Halos hindi na nga ako kumakanta e.. Naglilipsing nalang akO and naghuhum ng onti.. I really don't feel like practicing... Bad mOod talaga kO as in.. I just kept quiet during nung break and I didn't ate the snack.. Ako lang hindi kumain.. Uminom lang ako ng tubig..Bwiset talaga.. Sakit din kasi ng lalamunan kO e.. basta.. simangOt to the highest level.. Ahm soooooo tired and sleepy and mAlagkit nA....... I need rest.. until next timE...

hAffy BurrfdAy.. Sigh.. Whatever..

2005-05-20T21:30:00.000+08:00

Sigh.. Happy Birthday to mE... Yeah.. what a dumb birthdAy.. ... Anyway... WhAzZuP fOr toDay? WALA LanG.. It's just like an ordinary dAy.. As usual there's the choir practice... Xmpre I attended the practice. Do I have any other chOice? Kaysa naman sa magmukmok akO sa hOuse nO.. Sigh.. Then they greeted mE and sANg hAffy burrfdAy... Kulit ngA e.. I was kinD of, Ewan.. Naaasiwa ngA ako nung paulit-ulit sila ng kanta ng hAppy Birthday e.. Okay sige, Alam kO birthday kO!! KainiZ... Basta.. Nothing vEry spEciaL.

Many greeted me hAffy BurrfdAy... sa celfone, the first one who greeted me was my baby bear, Allan. Nyahahaha...^__^ I was kinD of.. tOuched.. Nyahahaha!!!^__^ Then, early this mOrning, my CuzIn from Iloilo greeted me first. Then there was my tita, my kachoirables, sTeph, Wil-ann, and.. I don't knOw nA.. I was expecting or wiShing.. to greet me but.. Sigh.. Asa pA kO... Kahit kelan hindi naman akO naging importante or special man lang sa kanya e... Pero okAy LanG.. ANyway, I didn't expect Pogs to greet mE.. Ehehehe.. ThaNx pOgs.. Buti pA si POgs naalala.. Hindi katulad ng ibA dyAn... Kung sinO pa yUng close yuN pa nakalimOt... T__T KAIniz... I did not enjoy this daY that much... Kahit naman for the past years. Or maybe I was just making my dAY miserabLe? ... ... ... DunnO... ... ... Maybe... Maybe I aM... Sigh... ...

Oh well, I guess that's aLL for todaY... What a Day... SigH...

Oh, Well...

2005-05-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

Okay, so today is Thursday.. Well, that means tomorrow's Friday and tomorrow's my birthday.. HEck!!! Darn it!! KainiZ talaga!! WHy? kAsi naman nO!!! We're supposed to leave tomorrow, ON my birthday... CuZ I want tO, becuZ it's the only day I can make an excuse of not attending to our choir practice ANd, may pupuntahan pa akoNg party chuVaneS... GUess whAT? Nagchange ng sched si Mama!! KakabAnas!! Ngayon kami umalis and pumunta ng Manila and bumili ng schOoL suPpLies... Sana kasi buKAs nalaNg e!! E di sana hindi na kami maghahanDa pAAAAAAAA!! BWISET!! Late tuloy akO dun sa "party".. Actually, planado na ang lahat e.. I won't attend practice this day, and tomorrow.. Not todaY cuZ of the Party.. Nakapangako na kO sa mgA PreNs kO... And TOmoRRoW, kasi akaLa kO Sure na na Friday na aalis.. E etOng Nanay kO namAn!! Haaaaaaay!!! Sh**!! Anyway, sabi kO nalang na I'm going to be late for the party and hahaboL talaga akO.. Haaaaaaaay.. ayUn... Nakapunta naMan.. paRa sa'miN pala niLa Kang and twin brO pAo yung " party".. Sa totoo lang, first time na sinabi sa'kin yang "party" na yAn, may kutOb nA kO e.. Di ko lang sinasabi kasi baka mapahiya aKo.. Nalaman kO lang na totoo ang aking hinala nung dumaan ako kina Steph cuZ shE said nA dUN dAw yuNg paRty.. Bwiset!! E I asked MArvin where's Steph.. SAbi niya kina Shena dAw.. Hmmmm... PArty pala hA? Then Lalo pang napaTotoO yunG hinala kO nung sinabi ni Marvin sa'kin na poara sa may birthday yunG pArty.. WHich means, kami yun nila Kang & pAo.. Then sabi niya, "E di ate, hindi na surprisE.." I just said yEs, then sabay kami pumunta kina sHen.. Ehehehehe... TheN yuN nA... Yeah.. "SurprisE!!!" OkaY, finE... Nyahahahaha!!! THen, dUn kami kinA Shen, I blew a candLe na nasa donut... Of course I wished munA... Wish kO? SECRET!!! Then, nag-usap, then umuwi na... Andun muna kami sa 7-11 ni KanG.. Usap muna kami then we got home past 8pm... Nyahahaha!! I missed the nights when KAng and I go home sometimes it's already past 8 or 9 in the evening Friday nights or after project-making.. Ehehehehe!!^__^ Isn't that nicE? Then we just walk our way from phase 8 Pag-asa to 7the gate of Town & Country... We stop by at the mini-talipapa.. Dun sa may sao at gulaman.. HEhehehe!! Our fave placE..^__^ Or at 7-11... Then we continue walking till we reach Town & COuntry West then ride on the tricycle...('~,) It's a good excercise actually.. Nyahahaha!!^__^

~~~~HATEs tODay~~~~

= change of sched... daRn!!

= yUng cologne kO natapon sa baG kO!! DAMN!!! MahAL pa maN diN yON!! Nagsayang na naman akO ng pera!! BWISEEEEEEEt!!!!

= I forgot my change when I paid my fair.. twiCE!! DAMMIT!!!!

= I did not enjoy that muCh.. except till the end of the dAy where I'm with my friEnds...

~~~~~LOVE tODAY~~~~

--= I was with my frieNds even foR a short whiLe.. They havE their curfEws and I don'T...

--= I received a gift from jaM.. a rinG.. THANx JAM!!!^__^

--= Niloadan akO ni mAma!!! I have LOad nAAAAAAAa!!!^__^

--= My frieNds grEetd me HAppY biRthdAY!!

--= Baby beAr texted mE, greetinG me hApPy birthDAy!! Aaaawww...

--= We already bought school supplies...

WEll, that's all for todAy..^__^ What could haPpeN tomOrroW?!! HAPPY BIRthdAY TO mEEEEEEE!!!^__^

Darn Day!!

2005-05-18T19:39:00.000+08:00

Aw, great!! What a day!! So tireD.. Sigh.. We have practice today, and we're going to have practice tomorrow.. Damn!! Ayoko nga!! Bahala sila.. Wala nga akO bukas!!! They're the ones who said before na walang practice nga during Tuesdays and Thursdays tapos ngayon may practice?!?!?!! Damn!! Anu ba yAn!! E I already told my friend steph that I'll go to their party cuZ I'm FReE that day and nOw? Gosh!! Pambihira naman O!! Basta, I'm not going to the practice tomorrow and on Friday..Bahala siLa!! Give me a break dammit!! KainiZ...

Anyways, dad just called yesterday, and early this morning. I talked to him for a few minutes.. I miss him, but I hate him when he's here.. weird nOh? Anyways, he told me that he already sent money for our enrollment, for our school requirements and for my birthday.KULANG NAMAN!! Grabe!! Gosh naman o!! And he told my mOm to take a picture of that cAr he waNts to bUy.. TOyotA Innova... ANu ba yaN!! Buti pa yung sasakyan may picture!! Hmph!! Ang kulit!! Mukhang sasakyaN!! Aaaaaaaaargh!! ANyways.. he also asked mom what cam would he buy for me... YEHEY!! He'll buy me a camera!! Sabi ko, digicam.. Pero pwede rin video cam.. Nyahahaha!! Kulit kO nO? E siya naman tong nagtatanong sa'kin e!! Nyahahaha!! Sulatan ko raw siya and sabihin dUn sa letter kung what cam papabili kO... YEHEY!! Nyahahaha!! Kulit!! O sya-sya.. next time ulit..

doN't knOw what to Do..

2005-05-16T21:25:00.000+08:00

What time is it? Oh.. It's already 9:10pm in our computer clock.. I'm sitting here in front of my PC for hOurs..Well anyway...
I woke up 8:30am in the morning today.. I slept at 1am last night.. Or should I say this mOrning..? ANyway, I managed to got up as early as I can. There's nothing to do.. I just watched TV and surfed on the intrnet as usual... Then Tita Oliv came and I got my feet pedicured and my hands manicured... I'm wearing french tips todAy.. Hahaha!! They look cutE!!(",) Anyway, As usual I attended choir practice and as usual, I was late.. Hey, my nails are not finished yet!! Ate Deb also practiced with us cuZ she'll go to church on SUnday.. Nyahahaha!! There were only a few of us present... and Ate Kat, Kakay and Anna left then afterwards... Sigh... After the practice, I ate ice cream and carbonara while playing my damN Sims... And here I am noW.. Sigh...
I'm kinda, a lil' frustrated about something again.. You see I made this blog for our choir and I was looking for a skin at blogskins.com that I could use, but all did not impressed me much.. I wish I could make the skin myself, only I don't know how.. AY, cyeT!! I hate it.. Well never mind...

What a Day..

2005-05-16T00:58:00.000+08:00

What a Day.. This has been a nice daY.. AT the beginning that is.. Well, I was excited with the fact that we're going to sing in Macaria in their MAss... Yeah... It was good.. Sigh.. But I know that we can't please everybody.. HmP!! Inggit lan sila kasi may choir kaming yOuth na dedicated!! Hmph!! Anyways.. I spent my time surfing on the internet the rest of the day as usual.. Until noW.. Ehehehehe... Until O got a little pissed when I visited this site, featuring works of a famous artist.. It gives me frustrations, really. It's becuZ It's also something I want but I don't knoW if I can get it.. You knOw.. Doubts... HELL!! Ah, shut me uP!! ANyway.. It's already 1:11am.. Mom's gonna kill me again for stayin up late.. well, I used to it anyway.. I'm not yet sleepy actually... SLighT.. Sigh.. What else? Oh yeah... This Friday's gonna be my birthdAy.. Nah.. don't know what's stored uP but.. I don't know. I'v ben lonely during my birthdays for the past three years I think.. except last year.. Cuz my friends were in the house.. Yeah.. And the next days I met.. Ehehehe!! Oh, forget about him!! I don't even know him that much..

Speaking of "him", I just lied to a friend.. I do miss him.. nO.. the OthEr hiM!! Sigh.. Aaaaaaaaargh!! Change topic..

Tomorrow, we're gonna have practice again.. That sucKs, but I got no choiCe... By the way, Marc was great toDay, and the rest of coUrse..(",) Love my ChoIr..^__^

I guess this is all.. tiLl nexT timE...

Hi.. Hello..

2005-05-14T22:14:00.000+08:00

Sigh... TodAy.. Is Saturday.. And it is now 9:46pm in our clock.. First of All I want to apologize to my Dear Buddy.. TEp!! Sowi ha.. I wasn't able to go to Mass in Pag-asa with her today.. Our practice already ended 6 na in the evening.. Man!! matagal na rin akong di nakakasimba duN.. Kainis talaga!! But maybe sometimE nalang.. SIgh...

Well anyway, we had practice again as usual. At first I really didn't want to go Cuz nagkasipon na naman akO.. And instead of sleeping for at least an hour before the practice, which is 2pm, Kuya Kevs arrived and asked me to color his homework.. Aaaaaaaargh!! Of course I did the homework.. Waaaaaaaaah!! I thought of not going to th practice anymore when I finished the coloring. I was already lying on the bed in mom's room when Anna Bulilit arrived then... Sinusundo na kO.. Inis talaga ko sobra kasi gusto ko muna matulog kahit sandali lang.. 3pm pa naman kasi darating si Kuya Ryan e.. Kainis talaga!! Ei kinukulit na kO ng bRo kO.. Bwiset talaga!! Well I got up and fixed myself na.. I brought a bottle of water with me cuZ I need it.. Then we went to the Chapel together.. The new members were already practicing with The other senioRs in charge.. Medyo kainis kasi Ayoko nga muna magpractice.. Antok pa kO kasi nakakaantok yung gamot kO.. well anyway, the kids were not doing well.. they're not giving any effort in singing. I understand their feeling cuZ I feel the same way too when I was at their aGe..

By the way, I started to join the choir when I was in grade 3, together with my Ate Debs.. I was inspired to sing cuZ of T.May...(",)

ANWayS.. I was kind of irritated woth my surroundings CuZ I'm not feeling well, I feel sleepy, and pissed, and I'm not hearing something good... Wag naman kayo mayabangan sa'kin.. Iritang-irita lang talaga ko... It's becUz we were in charge to teach them and I don't like teaching anyone/anybody unless I'm in a mood. Baka mapamura lang akO.. CyEt!! Nakikikanta nalang ako sa kanila para lumakas then pag pangit yung kanta, pinapahinto kO minsaN kay atE kAt... Then Kuya JP arrived and took in charge.. Umuwi muna ako with Anna cuZ I need to pEa.. Waaaaaaaaah!! We got back with a bottle wilkins, 1L of water, in casE someone or I get thirsty. When we arrived Kuya Ryan was already there.. Nyahahaha... Then we proceed to our practice.. I told myself nung nasa formation na kami, ay sh** naman o!! An init2!! Sinisipon pa kO pano ako makakakanta nyAN!!" Anyway, the water helped me.. My colds/allergy/rhinitis passed slowly but surely.. Nyahahahaha!! kakapagod pa rin as usual, and ang lagkit2 ko na talaga.. Sigh... ewan ko ba.. Bwiset..

I got home, patapos na ang Wag Kukurap...Sigh... Umupo muna kO sa sala and watched TV... thn naligo then kumain then ginawa yung pinapagawa sa'kin uli ni Kuya Kevs then.. Here I am noW.. Tellin' you what the hell happened this day... Well, so much for this dAY..

Oh, by the way, in Macaria, were going to sing "One moRe Gift", and Marc's gonna sinG soLo agaiN!! Ehehehe!! Go mArc!!^__^ Well, until next timE..

what a DAy!!

2005-05-13T21:20:00.000+08:00

Sigh.. WHat a dAy!! StiLL hot as usual... Good thing it rained.. Though just for a few minutes I guess.. So, what happened? The usuaL.. choir practice.. Tita MadZ was there.. Yehey!!^__^ And there are 26-28 of us members there.. Without Kuya JP, and my Bro.. and JEssa.. anD.. wala lang.. an hirap magpractice GraBe!! INit!! Kaya parati na kong nagpupunaS sa gabi.. Ehehehehehe!!^__^ Anyway, tuloy ang concert namin sa Macaria.. Nyahahaha!! ConcerT dAw!!^__^ Basta, we're doing the best we can for this.. thingiE.. Ilang beses na nga ko pumiyok habang kumakanta e!! GRabe!!^__^ Tinatawanan kO nalang.. nadedehydratE kasi akO my gOodness!! cyEt!! GrRrrrrrrrrrr!! Anyways..Sa Sunday, magluluto si mama ng pancit molo for us.. YEHEy!! FavOritE kO yun!! Nyahahahaha!! Bago kami pumunta ng Macaria, kakain muna kami.. Ehehehehe!!^__^ AnywayS uli.. Change tOpic...
I was thinkin about my birthdAy.. Maghahanda pa kaya akO? May pupunta naman kaya? Basta.. Sabi kO ke may practice o wala, hindi talaga ako aattend.. GIVE ME A BREAk dammit!! Well.. basta bahala na...
I forgot.. Today is Friday the 13th.. Well, wala namang masyadonG kamalasaN.. Ehehehehe!!

Good luck sa'min sa SundAy anD sanA matupad yunG wisH kO for my birthdAy.. Yun ay.. SEcret!! Ehehehehe!! OisHAshige na.. byE!! sa uulitin!!

Going to HollyWoOd!!

2005-05-12T10:20:00.000+08:00

YeaH!! I'm goinG to HollywoOd!! Nyahahahahaha!! JokE!! Actually, this is a great news for mE, and for the choir. That's because, we were invited to sing in Macaria or Addas this Sunday for their Mass. Isn't that greaT?! Ehehehehe!! This is a big opportunity for us to be known not just in our community but in other communities too!! Wahahahahaha!! I'm so excited!! Ehehehe!! That's why we have to practice again.. and again and again.. Sigh.. But it's all worth it anyway!!^__^ Nyahahahahaha!!!^__^ So glad..(",).. OoooPs!! Gotta go!!^__^

Shut me up!!

2005-05-11T00:45:00.000+08:00

yeAh.. Shut me Up!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Hell.. got nothin' to say.. What juts happened? Nothin.. Nothin' special.. I just went to Makati with my Mom, and I did not attend practice.. I had a headache when we ot home, that's why... Uh.. Now that's it's past twelve, it means It's already May 11.. What I said happened yesterday.. Nyahahaha!!^__^ Weird nOh?^__^ Okay, gotta go..

The Unloved by the Backstreet Boys

2005-05-08T15:33:00.001+08:00

The Unloved

~~~********~~~

This one's for the mothers who have lost a child

This one's for the gypsies who left their hearts behind

This is for the strangers sleeping in my heart

Take what they went and leave while it's still dark

No one is glamorously lonely..All by themslves

This is a song for the unloved

This is the music for one last cry

This is a prayer that tomorrow will help me leave the past behind

It's a song for the unloved

This one's for the bride's maid, never the bride

And this one's for the dreamers who locked their faith inside

This is for the widows, who think there's only one

Of the dying fathers who never told their sons..

No one is glamorously lonely..Follow your Heart!!

This is a song for the unloved

This is the music for one last cry

This is a prayer that tomorrow will help me leave the past behind

It's a song for the unloved.. the unloved

Tomorrow the sun will shine and dry the tears in your eyes

Suddenly love comes alive

For one last cry.. just one last cry..

This is a song for the unloved

This is the music for one last cry

This is a prayer that tomorrow will help me leave the past behind

This is a song for the unloved

This is the music for one last cry

This is a prayer that tomorrow will help me leave the past behind

It's a song for the unloved

This is.. This is a song for the unloved

This is the music for one last cry

This is a prayer that tomorrow will help me leave the past behind

It's a song for the unloved.. the unloved.

~~~~~*************************~~~~~~~

Climbing the Walls by the Backstreet Boys

2005-05-08T15:33:00.000+08:00

CLIMBING THE WALLS

Close your eyes, make a wish

This could last forever

If only you could stay with me now

So tell me what it is that keeps us from each other now

Yeah, its coming to get me

You're under my skin

No I can't ever let you go

You're a part of me now

Caught by the taste of your kiss

And I don't wanna know the reason why I can't stay forever like this

Now I'm climbing the walls cuz I miss you

Take my hand, take my life

Just don't take forever

And let me feel your pain kept inside

There's gotta be a way you and I together now

Yeah it's comin' to get me

You're under my skin

No I can't ever let you go

Your a part of me now

Caught by the taste of your kiss

And I don't wanna know the reason why I can't stay forever like this

Now I'm climbing the walls cuz I miss you

It's an illusion how can I feel this way(if I can't have you)

It's an illusion nothing is real this way(if I can't have you)

No I can't let you go

Your a part of me now

Caught by the taste of your kiss (I don't want to know)

And I don't want to know

The reason why I can't stay forever like this (I am climbing the walls)

Now I'm climbing the walls cuz I miss you

I can't let you go no

And I don't wanna know the reason whyI can't stay forever like this (no no)

Now I'm climbing the walls cuz I miss (I miss you) you

Incomplete by the Backstreet Boys

2005-05-08T15:24:00.000+08:00

Incomplete

Empty spaces fill me up with holes

Distant faces with no place left to go

Without you within me I can’t find no rest

Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you

I’m awake but my world is half asleep

I pray for this heart to be unbroken

But without you all I’m going to be is...incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on

But I am swimming in an ocean all alone

Baby, my babyIt’s written on your face

You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you

I’m awake but my world is half asleep

I pray for this heart to be unbroken

But without you all I’m going to be is...incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on,

but I can’t seem to let you go

I don’t wanna make you face this world alone

I wanna let you go (alone)

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you

I’m awake but my world is half asleep

I pray for this heart to be unbroken

But without you all I’m going to be is...incomplete
Incomplete

Just like to answer..

2005-05-08T13:08:00.000+08:00

1.Call me * Jo.. Jomay..Jomaylabs...^__^

2. What color of pants are you wearing right now? * I'm wearing shorts.. :P

3. What Are You Listening To Right Now? * Backstreet BOys.. My fave boyband.. Backstreet's bAck alright!!

4. What Was The Last Thing You Ate? * I ate lunch just minutes ao.. sarap!! Lechon manok..

5. Do You Believe In Karma? * Yepo... Lakas tama sa'kin grabe!!

6. If You Were A Crayon, what color are you?! * GREEN!! Or blue or black or red or orange!! Lahat na!!

7. How Is The Weather Right Now? * MAINIT!!!

8. Last Person You Talked To On The Phone? * Tita Merlin..

9. Do You Like The Person Who Sent You This? * Ginaya ko lang ang Bro ko..

10. How Are You Today? * AHM SO TIRED, SHIT!!! Sakit ng likod ko and ng binti ko and ng ulo kOOOO!!

11. Favorite Drink? * TUBIIIIIIIIIIIIG!!! Tsaka Coke, Mountain Dew, Sprite, Royal, Juice..^__^ Wag lang gatas!!

12. Favorite Alcoholic Drink? * Is Cali considered alcoholic?

13. Favorite Sports * I don't play sports.. But I love my Bro playing Basketball..^__^
14. Hair Color? *Black po..

15. Eye Color? * Black.. I wish it was green..

16. Favorite Band? * My own band..

17. Favorite Actress? * Uh.. Dunno..

18. Favorite Months? * Uh.. Basta walang pasok or holiday!!

19. Favorite Foods? * MARAMI!!^__^

20. Last Movie You Watched? * COnstantine.. Shit ang ganda!!

21. Favorite Day of the Year? * Dunno.. May 1 2005 as for now..

23. What Was Your Favorite Toy As A Child? * Uh.. Barbie (ah, dammit!!).. Power Rangers (hehehe!!).. Lego..

24. Summer or Winter? * None of the above.. I love Autumn!!

25. Hugs Or Kisses? * both would be better!!

26. Chocolate Or Vanilla? * Kahit ano kunakain ko...

27. What Is Under Your Bed? * Another bed.. then under the other bed.. alikabok..

28. Friends You Have Had The Longest? * NEOS.. Ten years na kami sa JUNE!!

29. What Did You Do Last Night? * nag internet.. But before that, practice magpiano for the presentation sa mass and sing..

30. Who Inspires You? * Si God.. my Family.. Friends.. my Crushes.. all my love ones..

31. What Are You Afraid Of? * Dunno..

32. Plain, Buttered Or Salted Popcorn? * All!! Pati na rin yun cheese flavored, caramel flavored, and barbeque and pizza and.. LAHAT LAHAT NAAAAAAAAA!!

33. favorite flower? * Rose!!

34. Number Of Keys On Your Key Ring? * 4-5..

35. Favorite Day Of The Week? * When we have classes, it's Thursday, cuz it means it's gonna be Friday tomorrow.. anD Friday, cuz I can do anythin all night without worrying tomorrow!!

36. anong sagot sa question? * Answer..^__^

Q & A

2005-05-08T13:03:00.000+08:00

1. Body: Sleep with or without clothes on?
:: pareho okay lang!! No clothes if it's hot.. ehehehe!!

2. Prefer black or blue pens?
:: Kahit ano basta sumusulat..

3. Dress up on Halloween?
:: None.. di uso yan dito...

4. Like to travel?
:: yEp! AS long as there's money, food, and the BarkAda..

5. Like someone?
:: Yep.. a Lot..

6. Does he/she know?
:: Don't know.. I think he did a long time ago but I kept denying.. SO I guess he doesn't know now.. I hope..

7. Sleep on your side?
:: huh? Pillow?

8. Think you're attractive?
:: Judge me..

9. Want to marry?
:: May asawa na ko!! Si Legolas!! Joke!! Yes but not right now.. Pwede bukas, or sa isang araw.. ehehehe!!^__^
10. Who?
:: For real? Not sure.. Marami pang papasok sa buhay ko.. Pero pwedeng wag na.. basta may anak akO..^__^

11. Are you a good student?
:: Slight.. Masamang bata nga ako e, remember?

12. Are you currently in a relationship?
:: nAh.. Uh.. boyfriend for hirE? Joke!!^__^

13. Are you involved in sports?
:: No.. Isa akong malaking lampa.. SUmo Wrestling nalang!!

14. Birthplace?
:: Pasay po.. SAn Juan de Dios..

15. Christmas or Halloween?
:: PAsKo..

16.Colored or black-and-white photo?
:: Anything basta may picture!!

17. Do long distance relationships work?
:: Maybe...

18. Do you believe in astrology?
:: SLight..

19. Do you believe in God?
:: Of COursE!!

20. Do you believe in love at first sight?
:: NopE..

21. Do you consider yourself the life of the party?
:: nO.. I don't like PArties..

22. Do you drink?
:: No!! Pero nakainom na ako onti lang..

23. Do you have a car?
:: YeP!!

24. Do you have a job?
:: Nope... WOuld someone want to hire me?

25. Do you make fun of people?
:: Sometimes.. kapag saBog akO..

26. Do you think dreams eventually come true?
:: Yeah.. Why not? AS long as possible yun dream na to and you're doing your best to achieve that dream..

27. Fave thing to do?
:: Sing/listen to Music, surf on the internet, draw, eat, sleep, daydreaM, magHanG..

28. Fave breakfast food?
:: Kahit ano naman kinakain ko e..^__^

29. Fave Candy?
:: XO coffee candy, mentos..^__^

30. Fave Vacation spot?
:: Dunno.. sa House? EHehehehe!! Province.. Haven't bn there for almost nine years!!

31. Favorite body part of the opposite/same sex
:: The eyes..^__^

32. Favorite cartoon?
:: All cartoons..

33. Go to the movies or rent?
::Both... Basta may chiboG!!^__^

34. Have you ever moved?
:: Yeah..

35. Have you ever stolen anything (from a store)?
:: I stole something, but not in a store.. It's in my mother's wallet.. Ehehehe!!

36. How's the weather right now?
:: Shit ang init!!

37. Hug or kiss?
:: Both would be better!!

38. Last person you talked to on the phone?
:: Uh.. Tita Nancy a while ago..

39. Last time you showered?
:: Kaninang umaga bago magsimba..

40. Loud or soft music?
:: Both will do..

41. McDonalds or Burger King?
:: McDO!! Official tambayan!!

42. More romantic; baths or showers?
:: Both would be fine...

43. Night or day?
:: Both fine..

44. Number of Pillows?
:: 3-4..

45. Piano or guitar?
:: Piano.. But I also like guitar.. and DRUMS!! WAAAAAAAAH!!!^__^

Oh, Great!!

2005-05-06T23:11:00.000+08:00

It's already 11:11pm in our computer clock... Yeah.. I'm back alright.. It has been a long time.. Anyway, let's get started..

~~~~~~~~~***********@@@@@@@@@*************~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today was the last day of our Review class... Finished at last!! The sad part is, I won't see my buds again till the start of the schoolyear.. Unless mom will allow me, or let me have a party for my birthday. Damn!! I've been lonely during my birthdays for the last, 3 years I think. What the heck?!!?!?!?!! Anyway, last year was a little different cuz I had a little celebration with my friends... And it's raining.. But the good thing is, I met somebody..^__^

Anyway, let's go back to the topic.. So, it was our last day for the review, and the guys planned to go to the mall after class.. I didn't go anyway. Give me money then... Damn!! I hate it when there's no money in my wallet!! Well, at least I had enough money to eat at Mcdo with them before thy leave for Fest... It was fun actually. We walked from school up to the gate of TOwn & Country, rode the jeep... reserved seats for all, ordered food, eat, chat, and laugh out loud...^__^ And don't forget our cutie prof Sir Nikolai and the beautiful Miss Pearl!! They're fun actually, especially our dear Prof. Heeheee!!^__^ Ei, don't get m wrong!! He's not my ultimate Crush... CUz there's still... Sigh...

I'm happy cuz I saw who I wanted to Saw.. AgaiN... looked at me, but I looked away...Nyahahaha!! HELL!! HELL SH**!! Change topic!!

*************
Ei, we just finished practicing a couple of hours ago.. It was really tiring cuz it's really hot in here.. And, the baD- No, Worst- thing is, I have to play the keyboard on Sunday!! Dammit!! Sabi ko ayoko na e!! Sh**!! Bakit ba ang kulit ng mga tao ngayoN?!?!?!?!!! Sigh.. Good Luck nalang sa'kin.. Dammit!! Uh.. I think I need to go now.. My back hurts.. AAAAAAAAAAARGH!! Well, that's it for now..

The Most Memorable Sunday Mass..Ever..

2005-05-01T22:52:00.000+08:00

Hello...T__T Waaaaaaaaaaaah!! Emotional ako ngayon..T__T Ang Saya-saya ko kasi e!! Waaaaaaah!! Pro naiiyak talaga ako.. Sa sobrang saya ko di ko mapigilan.. Napakamemorable ng araw na ito..T__T Ang sarap pala talaga kapag pinalakpakan ka ng lahat.. Waaaaaaaah!!T__T Ang saya-saya ko talaga!! Hindi ako makapaniwala na mangyayari sa'min yung ganun and matutuwa lahat ng tao..T__T I'm so happy talaga...T__T
Kanina, I'm like having a concert during our Sunday mass together with the rest of the choir members.. Bago non, todo practice talaga kami for a week.. Araw-araw kami nagpapractice to perfect all the songs na kakantahin namin ngayong May 1.. Nakakapagod nga like what I always say.. Kahapon, Sabado, first time naming magpractice na isang run lang sa isang kanta.. Kaya maaga kami umuwi..
Tapos, 7:30am, is our big day.. 5:30am nagpagising na'ko para lang makapunta sa simbahan to practice pa.. PAgdating ko don, wala pa si kuya Ryan.. Ganun din yung iba pa.. Kami-kami nalang na andun muna ang nagvocalization ng paulit-ulit and rehearsed the songs.. Then, unti-unti na kaming nacocomplete.. Dumating na rin si Kuya Rye.. Tapos nagdasal kami.. Nagdrama pa nga si Kuya Rye e!! Last day na daw ng pagkanta namin.. He'll start working na kasi.. Kay, marami nang magbabago after ng Sunday na to.. But sabi niya hindi niya kami iiwan.. T__T Waaaaaaah!! Then, the mass begins.. Kahit papaano wala namang sumablay sa mga kanta namin..T__T As I was singing, I'm giving all na talaga as in to highest level na to..T__T I dunno why.. THen, yung "I will SIng Forever" na.. Recessional namin..T__T BEfore nun, kinakabahan na kaming lahat.. We've been practicing this song for two weeks na... And this song is napakaganda talaga.. Kung pumalpak man kami dito, baka sabihing T.H. kami.. KAya we wished that maging maganda ang kinalalabasan.. And maganda nga.. When kuya Rye started playing his guitar, nilalamig na mga kamay ko... But I just said to myself na "kaya namin to.." We sang it all from our hearts, as lively and beautifully as we can.. Nagugroove pa nga kami ng onti just to forget our tension..T_T As we sing, nililibot ko yung mata ko sa mga tao.. Tahimik silang lahat.. Yung iba naman nakikikanta pero mahina lang.. Yung iba, mdyo nagcaclap... Habang kumakanta kami.. Napapaiyak ako in fairniZ.. T__T Cuz we've done something na isang napakalaking accomplishment for the choir talaga.. Birit to the max, voice power..T__T Yung feeling ko nun, kinakabahan na masaya.. Enjoy habang kumakanta.. Kahit nahihirapan ako ng onti.. sige lang.. Hanggang sa last lines na..
"ma-ma-yedo-bap-bare-ba!! Shiva-puweyo-bap-bare-yah!! Hulele-bap-ba// no-ba-ra// do-bap-barAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" Hanggang sa maubos lahat ng hangin sa'min.. Then.. bigla silang nagpalakpakan lahat... "sa wakas.. tapos na.." sabi ko.. Pero naiyak kaming lahat.. ANg saya-saya.. Ang lakas ng palakpakan nila..T__T SA pagod naupo nalang kami sa upuan namin at nag-iyakan.. Di namin alam kung bakit..T__T Pero ang saya-saya.. Hindi ko na napigilan.. Iyak lang..T__T THen our parents started to congratulate us..T__T Waaaaaaaah!! Napakalaking achievement talaga yon.. Hindi pa rin mawala sa'kin yung palakpakan nung mga tao..T__T Basta ang saya..T__T
Ang saya-saya talaga.. All the time we spent practicing.. yung mga sermon at mga tinuro sa'min ni Kuya.. Kahit papano maganda naman ang kinalabasan..T__T Ako, I sacrificed all of my free time para lang makapagpractice dito.. Oo, parati akong nagrereklamo na nakakapagod and, minsan sinasabi ko na ayoko na.. Pero.. Hindi ko pa rin siya tinalikuran... Ang saya-saya...T__T Lahat ng sacrifices na ginawa namin naging maganda and napakaganda ng resulta...T__T WAAAAAAAAAAAH!! ANg saya-saya ko talaga!!T__T
SAna magpatuloy pa rin yung ganun.. Kahit na magkakaroon kami ngayon ng changes.. May we continue th good work and do th best in everything.. Go KOALSKA CHoRALE!!! Aja, aja fighting!!!T__T

Sigh.. Life..

2005-04-30T10:40:00.000+08:00

Ei!! I'm back again!! Anong araw ba ngayon? Friday.. Haaaaaaay...^__^ Wala lang!! Masaya ako kasi may nakita akong matagal ko nang hinahanap!! Nyahahaha!!^__^ Sssssh!! Walang MAINGAY dyan!! Anyway, kanina, we just had our review.. Medyo late ako in faiRniZ.. Ehehehehe!! Ang kulit!! Pero ayos lang.. Nanaginip kasi ako .. Sensya pero nakalimutan ko na!! Bigla ko kasing naalala habang nananainip na kelangan nang gumising kasi may pasok pala akO!!! Nyahahaha!! Ganun talaga ako kaya walang kokontra.. Anyways, yun nga!! Basta masaya ako ngayon kahit papaano.. Kaso, yung lesson namin kanina, Chemistry!! Ay, dammit!! Uy, pro in fairniz hindi naman ako masyadong nasindak sa Chem kanina, which is good!! Buti nalang hind ako masyadong nabangag tulad nung nakaraan... Ehehehehe!!^__^ May natutunan din naman ako kay Miss Pat nO!! TUlad nung sa lapis.. Hindi naman daw lad yun e!! Graphit po!! Kaya Steph, hindi mo na ko mapipigilang isubo yung dulo ng lapis kOOOOOOO!! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!^__^ *ehem* Tapos.. tapos na ang klase!! Ay.. may naalala ako.. hindi ako nakapasuot ng Fuertez ko kasi nawawala.. Tapos, hindi ko rin nakita si Jam except nung sumisilip siya sa class namin and inaway ko medyo.. Ehehehe!! Nakalimutan ko pa tuloy magthank you dun sa binigay niya sa'kin.. T__T THANK YOU JAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Then, kanina nagpractice na naman kami sa choir as usual. Kakapagod as usual, and... Nakakapagod.. Nyahahaha!!^__^ At.. gabi na ngayon.. Wala na.. malalaro nalan uli ako..
UY!! LAST EPISODE NA N FULL HOUSE!! PANOORIN NIYOOOOOOOOO!!! MAGANDA ENDING PWAMIS!! PANOOD KO NA E KASO KOREANO LA PA TRANSLATION.. HAYUP!! NAINTINDIHAN KO SIYA IN FAIRNIZ!! BASTA JUST WATCH OKAY?!! KAKAKILIG PROMISE!!! I LOVE YOU JUSTIN!!

Sh**!!

2005-04-28T23:55:00.000+08:00

Ei, wazzup, ya'll? 8:39 na po sa aming computer clock.. advance siya in fairniZ.. WEll anyway, today is a rainy day.. nyahahahaha!! Lakas ng ulan kanina... Grabe!! Sinipon pa ko.. ganito kasi yon..
I woke up past ten in the morning.. then diretso ako sa PC to check my friendster account and download some files (basta files!!). Then by 12pm I ate lunch then continued my work.. Hindi ko namalayan ang oras.. 1pm nAAAAAAAA!!! "Ay, sh**!! ala-una practice namin sa choir!!" Namadali ako.. Shut down kaagad ang PC kaso naghang.. tapos, yung kwarto naman ng mom ko, nakalock!! Pano ako makakalio nYaN!!! Dammit!! Naghintay pa ko ng few minutes... Nagrush pa tuloy ako maligo. Then, sumugod pa ko sa ulan, pero sympre may payong no!! Kaso nabasa pa rin ako.. Lakas kasi ng ulan bwiset!! ?Anyway, pagdating ko dun, di pa pala nagsisimula. We started ng mga 2pm na.. Sigh.. Nagkasipon na ko habang nagpapractice. Di na nga ko masyadong kumakanta e!! Bwiset!! Buti nalang hangang 4pm lang kami. When I got home, tulog kaagad ako.. Antok na talaga ako e.. bago yun inom muna ako n gamot.. Haaaaaay.. Kakapagod talaga!!!
Bukas, may review na naman kami.. Naka FuerteZ daw kami.. Ewan ko lang kung nasan na yun.. Ano kaya subject namin? Sino kaya prof namin? Ay ewan!!! Baka mabaliw na naman ako bukas.. SAna wag naman..
I just visited the diliman access site.. Kita ko na yung pre-simulation results.. Nyahahahahaha!! Ang kulit ng nakuha ko!! WEll, sakin nalang yOn.. Ehehehehe!! Anyway, si PAOLO YUTUC, ang magaling kong kambal, ang nakakuha ng pinakamataas na ovrall percent. 65.82% nakuha niya!! LUFET!! ANyway, I'm proud of you, my twin brO!! Ang daya mo dapat kalahati ng laman ng uutak mo binigay mo man lan sa'KiN!! Waaaaaaaaah!!! Pero okay lang..^__^ ako ay ako at hindi na magbabao yOn!! Ehehehehe!! O sya-sya.. maglalaro pa ko.. Nyahahahaha!!

April 27, 2005-part 2

2005-04-28T09:05:00.000+08:00

Hello!! I'm back like what I've said.. It is now exactly 5:58pm sa aming computer clock.. Sabi nila 5pm palang ha?!?!! Labo!! Anyway..
Katatapos lang ng aming practice kanina... Kakapagod pa rin in fairniZ.. Ehehehe!! Pero kahit papaano masaya naman.. Wala si kuya JP pero andun yung peste kong Kuya.. Oooops!! *ARAY!!!* Batukan ba kOOOOOO!!! Aaaaaaaaargh!!! Anyways, sa chapel kami nagpractice.. la na ulan e.. Ehehehe!!! Um.. Okay naman ang practice.. SAna magpatuloy pa ang good work.. Medyo sablay lang ng konti kanina.. yung new song kasi namin sa alleluia nahirapan matranspose si kuya Rye.. Kaya balik sa dati.. Then, yung iba pang kanta pinractice uli.. MAingay pa rin as usual.. Nakakapagod tumayo.. Nung una nga inaantok pa nga ko..Dunno why..tagal siguro kasi magsimula.. Anyways, may practice ulit kami bukas. Maslate nga lang kesa nung una.... Anyways uli.. WALA na... tapos nAAAA!!!
SO, wala na kong ibang gagawin ngayon kundi ang maglaro!! Nyahahahaha!! Ehehehehe!! o sya-sya... 6:05 na po... babush!!

April 27, 2005

2005-04-28T04:25:00.000+08:00

Sigh... 1:03pm sa amin computer clock... I'm sittin' in front of the Pc typing these words... HELL!! Ang init-init ngayon in fairniz... umuulan pa... It's suppose to be summer, right? So, why the heavy rain??!?!!?!! Anyway, never mind the weather nalang...
We just had our review kanina.. In fairniz masaya naman.. Kalog kasi yung teacher namin. That was Sir Nikolai... Magkwentuhan ba habang nalelesson?! But like what he said, hindi naman masamang pag-usapan ang mga experiences ek-ek..^__^ Ang kulit talaga...^__^ Nakasabay din namin sa break... Tapos, ang daldal pa nila..katuwa tingnan.. Ako? The usual.. ano ba ginagawa sa breAk?!! E di kumakain!! Nyahahahaha!! Gutom ako care mo bA? Ehehehe.. Makipag-away ba...PEACE!!^__^
SO, what else? Oh yeah.. Kanina, I wore my jersey nung second year. CRusadErs.. Pati rin sila Steph and Maricar.. Pinag-usapan e.. Limited edition daw ng jersey!!! Ehehehe!!!^__^ Pagpasok ng aming magaling na prof, sabi sa'min, "why ar you in uniforms?" Tawa nalang kami... ^__^
What else? Uh.. hindi ko nakita yun gusto kong makita.. sigh... Pero okay lang.. change topic!!
Maya-maya, dito ang practice namin ng choir.. Sigh.. Kaso lang mainit dito e.. Umuulan kasi kaya di pwede sa chapel.. Maingay daw..Pero okay lang. Masarap naman merienda e!! Nyahahahahahaha!!!^__^ Sigurado ako ubos yun ni kuya Ryan..hindi niya kasi paborito yung carbonara tsaka spaghetti and everything!! WEll, good luck nalang sa'min mamaya..Ganyan talaga...
Speaking of choir, baka umalis na talaga si Kuya Ryan, ang aming guro sa choir cuz he really needs to find a job. It's a must sabi nga niya.Well, we respect his decision naman. Hindi naman talaga aalis.. he'll still be there to help us of course. Ngayon, pinapaaral na si Marc Peter ng guitar at pag-aralan ang napakaraming kanta..As for me, pinapatugtog ako ng keyboard. Actually, ayoko tumugtog na gusto ko. I like cuz I want to help. I don't, cuz baka yun pa ang dahilan n pagkapangit ng choir kasi whenever I play parati akong nanginginig and I can't help it talaga..So, more confidence pa talaga.. It's like, marami na kasing nagawang mali tapos hanggang ngayon hindi pa matama. Siguro kasi kulang talaga sa ensayo... Pero kung kailangan na talaga, I'll for it, basta ba handa na ko. Hindi ko lang alam kung kelan yun.. S*** naman o!! Basta, good luck nalang sa'min. Go KOALSKA ChORaLe!! Aja aja fighting!! Nyahahaha....^__^
Later nalang.. It's already 1:25pm in our clock...

La,la,la,la,la!!!!

2005-04-27T09:48:00.000+08:00

So... Wazzup?! Sigh... KAiniz naman... Well, yesterday (monday), was another boring day of my life... AS usual I have my review in the morning. I feel totally bored.. Halos mabaliw na nga ako sa loob ng klase e... Tawa nalang ng tawa... Nyahahahahaha!!! I've gone totally nuts cuz I want to go home already. Nothing special on that day...
Oh wait!! I just remembered, my buddy just wore a floral skirt that day... Nyahahahahaha!!!! She looked... GuRLy... Nyahahaha!!! Bwahahahahahahahaha!!! *Ehem*...
Isa pang nakakabanas... WALA PALA KAMING PRACTICE NUNG ARAW NA YOOOOOOOON!!!! DAMMIT!!! PANIRA Ng ARAW!!!! S***!!! Kainis talaga yun!! Pano kasi nung Sunday...palpak yung kanta namin e... yeah, yeah and it's all the stupid song's fault.. Hindi kasi, ang pangit nung pagkakanta namin... Nanginginig kasi yung boses ko e... bwiset!! Kinakabahan pa rin ako hanggang ngayon!! DAmn!! Sigh.. Sige na.. ERase the bad memories!!
Kaninan 6:30pm, we just finished practicing in our choir... Kakapagod nga e... Kahit na isang kanta lang yon.. S*** talaga!! Masakit sa ulo.. Nakakangalay din tumayo. Pero masaya naman. Actually, napagod ako nung patawa ng patawa si kuya Ryan.. Nainis na nga ko e kasi gusto ko na matapos yung practice dahil pagod na ko at ang init paaaaaaaa!!! Kakantahin namin yung I Will Sing Forever.. the one that's shown in IBC13 dati or sa RPN.. Yung maganda yung choir na ubod ng galing... hindi man namin kasinggaling yung mga yun pero kakayanin namin yOn!! Good luck nalang sa'min...
Tomorrow, we'll have our review again.. sigh... tapos maglulunch sa mcdo sana lang may pera pa ko di bA?! Then, practice na naman... sigh.. what a day!! Good luck nalang sakin bukas... Hope everything goes well tomorrow... Nyahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Ma-ma-yehedo-bap-bareba!! Shiva-pu-weyo-bap-bare-yah!! Hulele-bap-ba//no-ba-ra... do-BAP-BARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! GO KOaLskA chORaLe!!^__^