Tapos na ang periodical namin foro the second quarter and that was last october. I've been busy with a lot of things, and isa na dun ay ang preparation ng Lebadura for the coming AGAPE... before that day, retreat pa namin. What else? Wala na akong maalalan importante pa.. Oo nga pala.. wala na si kuya ryan-guitarista namin.. Inis ako sa kanya kasi bigla nalang siyang umalis.. i miss him na, actually. Hindi ko matatanggi na siya ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit kami ganito ngayon sa choir. He had been our teacherfor months. Nangarap kaming lahat na makakanta somewhere else sin with him. He had tauht us a lot. Kahit na minsan ay hindi maganda ang tingin ng iba sa kanya, malaki rin naman ang natulong niya sa'min. But now we stand on our own feet without him. Okay naman kami and I can say we can survive naman.

Marami rin akong nagawang hindi dapat, and I don't have to tell you those things dahil kailangan nang kalimutan although mahirap. Ilang araw din akong umiyak noon every night, I can't sleep because my conscience is deeply bothering me, and I kept thinking on what to do to solve them. Sigh... Ang masasabi ko lang ay, tapos na rin sa wakas..Pero...

After our periodical was our retreat. Before that week ay busy ako sa Leba.. Masasabi kong masaya naman..^_^ Kahit na nakakapagod mag-isip ng kung paano gagawin ang mga nararapat. Anyways, naunang nagretreat yung Galileo... Before they left the school, pina-iyak muna namin sila. Ahihihi... Naiiyak na rin ako pero pinigilan ko siya.. Ayoko nang umiyak... Pero... ... Anyways, may ginawa silang kalokohan sa retreat nila. When it was our turn, pagdating namins a retreat house, they were still preparing to leave. Kinausap kami ni Sir Peter and indeed, galit na galit talaga siya. Anyways, okay naman ang retreat, but I wasn't able to meet my expectations. Ni hindi man lang ako naiyak, except dun sa movie. I don't know why, pero you may feel the pain to be angry with your parents, and think and see and fel that you are nobody, and you feel lonely sometimes... Anyways, nagpapakabanal-banalan ako sa retreat namin, because I want to get closer to God.. Ahihihi!!!^_^ I gess it was wrong. Sila Kang and Tep, nag-iyakan because of lovelife. Haaaay... talaga naman eh. I know it wasn't okay for Maricar. Sipain ko siya eh.. Deny2 pa kasi eh.. Lecheng denial yan.. Ako? Inamin ko na sa "mahal" ko na mahal ko siya.. ata.. I don't actually remember what I said. Gusto ko na siyang sabihin para hindi na kailangan pang sabihin sa graduation. I'm actually okay na over that matter and I don't care anymore. I don't want him to answer. Tama na ang sabihin ko... Basta GOODBYE nalang. Punyetang lovelife tO.. Anyways, basta yOn.. okay naman ang retreat, and when we arrive sa school, I'm wearing a skirt!! Ahihihi!!^_^ Kikay ako noong araw na iyon. Actually, I'm trying my best na magpagirly naman sumtimes.. Because this whole darkness thingy kills mE.. When pagirl akO, masmagaan ang feeling kO, and i don't mind things that bothers me..

After the retreat yata, maslalo akong naging masama. Why? I began to be an alcoholic. It started when we drank champaigne on my bro's birthday. 8 shots lang naman and hindi siya nakakalasing. Then, the next was beer, October 16 was the date I guess. It was ate Krizel's birthday. Then next was Ate Ana's, October 29. This time, beer in can. Then, November 4, I drank 5 shots of gin. Gin was nice, although matapang talaga siya. Masarap siya, mainit sa lalamunan and sa tyan. When I drank the fifth, I felt dizzy already. May "tama" na akO. And take note, we still have practice for our MTV, and after that, our choir practice. Kami ni Gozon, habang tumutugtog, lasing na... Bangag na kami. Pero tawa lang. And sa choir practice, natumba ako one time. Then, pumunta kami kina Ana flor, kasi celebration ng birthday niya, pati ng kay Jude. Masaya siya actually. Pagdating namin dOn, hindi na ako lasing. Okay na ako. Ako pA!!^_^ Uminom naman kami dun sa kanila ng white wine. Of course, game na game ako dyan. Then, sumunod na inom, was Tita Madie's birthday. Grape juice lang naman. I drank two glasses, and yung last, onti nalang. Ako na sumimooth... Then, the last was Camz' birthday just this Monday. San Mig Light lang naman, I drank two glasses lang naman. Hindi ako pwede uminom ng maraming beer kasi sasakit ang tuhod ko, just like my dad's. But actually, I want to drink a lot. Okay lang naman kay mama eh. She knows I drink. "TAgay queen" na akO.. Lasinggera rin.. And I've been crying again... Ewan kO.. When I write, hatred, anger, loneliness, depression comes out. Or I just thought I was, Or maybe I just enjoy feeling those things.. whAt?! I dunnO.. iyun ang lumalabas eh...

MTV presentation.. Congratulations... We Won.. Yeah sure.. To tell you frankly, we do not and we did NOT expect to win. Nung una pa lang hindi na namin feel. But I prayed to God that we could win, because sayang ang points sa ELA and Music. We composed and arraned the song pa naman. I like the song of course. Ahihihi...^_^ What the disappointing part is that, masama ang loob ng Gali sa amin or, masama DAw ang loob nila sa sistema. And I guess masama talaga loob nila sa amin. I thought okay lang sa kanila, but what happened yesterday, because we performed again on the last day of the program, pag-akyat ng classmates ko sa taas, may nakalagay sa board namian, MSPTV. It means, Music Stage Play Television. What the hell.. Di ba nga kasi it was suppose to be an MTV? Well, ours was like that of a stage play kasi. Kahit naman kami nung una palang alam na naming parang play na ang gagawin namin. Eh bakit bA?1 Diskarte namin yUn eh.. And now, gaganyanin nila kami.. And sasabihin nilang gumastos sila, nagpakapagod sila and everything.. Bakit? Sila lang ba ang gumastos? Sila lang ba ang nagpakapagod? To hell with that MTV.. Stop being selfish, thinking of only yourself. Eh lami ang pinili eh bakit bA?! Kapag ako nainis, Ibabato ko talaga yung trophy na yan sa mukha nila. Saksak ko sa baga nila yun pag nagpatuloy pa tO.. Nakakainis eh.. Pero hindi rin.. I man, we're fourth year students, and we'r suppose to be enjoying the last months and days we still have together. And wag niyong sasabihin na dahil lang dito, our relationship as a batch is going to be ruined. Nakakainis talaga. Anyways, hindi ko nalang papatulan...

Anyways, sumthing good naman. Busy ako with a project na ginagagawa ko... I lovee doing it and sana matapos na.. Ahihihi... It's a secret and only a few people know what it is...^_^